I married my high school sweetheart. We were together 19 years. A year ago, I discovered some graphic and sexually explicit stories she'd written that focused heavily on lesbian sex. I confronted her and she told me for the first time she was bisexual. We put a lot of time and effort into working through what that meant for us and I thought we did really well with it all. Afterward, I was more in love with her than I'd ever been.

About 2 weeks ago, she sat me down and told me (tearfully) that she thinks she's lesbian. She told me that she hasn't enjoyed sex with me for about a year. She says she thinks her sexual attraction has changed over time. She also said that she's been repressing these feelings for so long, but that things just feel so much better when she imagines being with women.

She wants to stay together, and that she doesn't ever plan on coming out to anyone. She says that we can potentially explore opening up our marriage when we're ready to.

I really don't think I can make it last without some form of intimacy, and, based on our most recent conversations, that's not going to happen.

I very much doubt she's cheated, but her new best friend (as of about a year ago) is lesbian, and I can't help but wrestle with accusatory thoughts.

I think I'm still in the bargaining phase where I'm trying so hard to find some way to save our marriage, but it feels like it's crumbling. I've read several posts on here and particularly the ones from Dutchman discussing how he managed to keep his marriage together. I just don't know if I can do it. I feel as if the ball is entirely in her court and it's the first time I've ever felt truly helpless in my relationship.

If you made it this far, thank you for taking the time to hear my tale. If you'd like to talk or get something off your chesr, please reach out to me.