This is the anniversary of the day I confronted my now ex-husband, in the counselor's office, and let him know he was not coming back to our home.
It had been a slow leak.  Over previous years he had acknowledged a use of male porn, that he was bi-sexual, and we just lived as room mates.  In the 6 mos before separation I told him that I just needed to know what was going on.  I asked him to take some time to think about his response, I didn't want the usual formulated answer he was used to giving me over the 14 years we had been married.  After a few weeks he told me that maybe he was more on the gay side, but not gay, still Bi.  I went for counseling as I just didn't know what to make of it all.  We have 2 boys, he was in ministry, I was a stay at home/homeschool mom, and looking back I recognize now that I was numbed out due to years of gaslighting and neglect.  I couldn't even recognize the abuse and figure out how to respond.  
I met with a counselor for a couple of weeks, who of course knew who I was because of my XH's place in ministry.  So much for anonymity.  My XH's sister encouraged us to take couples counselling as we would never repair our relationship by seeking counselling separately. So we did, and I was encouraged to look deeper.  The counselor felt certain there was more going on.
So one night, when he was out, I looked at his computer after asking him a series of questions (have you cheated? Or ever wanted to cheat? etc.) and him assuring me that he never had done anything.  And I found emails.  He had taken a lover during the winter that my mother was dying of cancer, and alluded to more "encounters".  I printed them off and went to bed.  I lay awake all night asking God, what am I going to do now?  God gave me a list and for 28 hours I pretended like it was all normal and went to the bank, saw a lawyer, and called the counselor to set up  a plan for how to confront him.  
In counseling I asked him if he had been totally honest and if he had anything to add, and once again he declared that I knew everything.  And then I pulled the emails out of my purse and the conversation changed.  I let him know that we were done, he gave me his house key, the mail key and he had 30 minutes to come to the house and get as much of his stuff in his car as he could manage.  We also agreed that he would "be away on business" for the next few days while we worked out how to tell the boys and would only be meeting/talking with the counselor.
These last 6 years have been so painful, and a continued slow realizing of what happened!  Those first few days and weeks I could hardly eat, weirdly enough I sweat out my feet like crazy and I believe I was detoxing from him and all the lies.  The divorce took almost 5 years to finalize, I had to go back to school, or course he lost his job (they frown on pastors who cheat on their families), and we lost the house.  It as a lot.
That whole time I just put my head down and did what needed to be done to raise my kids, fight back through the divorce, and protect myself from ignorant people who thought I was over reacting and it was great that he was finally living his true life.  He has since married, apparently, the love of his life and I think admits to being fully gay.
I just found OurPath last month. I am in Canada and we have nothing.  I was triggered by a confrontation by my XHs new husband and started looking for support, I need to take care of me now.  I have listened to almost every podcast on Our Voices and have finally felt so affirmed, validated, and am so grateful to not feel alone.