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This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
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- Anon2222
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Re: Just Need Some Support with the Divorce Process
I feel like a complete failure at this. I let him get to me.
I had to contact him because of an issue with the marital property (everything is through email only) - I asked for him to do up a legal document stating he will pay for half of the cost. He made some comments about how he has no idea why I'm so paranoid and implied some things about my mental health etc.
And...he got to me. I sent back a very long email of all the reasons I don't trust him, every promise he has broken during the divorce process, and how he sent me pages and pages of lies and personal insults to me from his lawyer. And that from all of this, he actually had the gall to blame ME for not being able to come out.
Basically wrapped it up that it is not my fault he hates himself and is a coward who couldn't deal with himself, and that I've run out of fucks to give so he can knock off the personal insults and lies and I'm over him dumping everything on me and he can get off his lazy ass and deal with everything because I'm done. Eep.
I feel so dumb....and probably did exactly what he wanted me to do. Sigh. I really suck at this divorce thing so very much.
- OutofHisCloset
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Re: Just Need Some Support with the Divorce Process
Anon,
My advice is get a lawyer for yourself, if you don't have one, and make all communication go through the lawyer. You are putting yourself in a position to be further abused by a man who has made it clear over and over that he is willing to abuse you--and has done so.
- Anon2222
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Re: Just Need Some Support with the Divorce Process
OutofHisCloset wrote:
Anon,
My advice is get a lawyer for yourself, if you don't have one, and make all communication go through the lawyer. You are putting yourself in a position to be further abused by a man who has made it clear over and over that he is willing to abuse you--and has done so.
Thanks. I do have a lawyer and the majority of communication is done that way. I try to limit any outside communication otherwise. But honestly, anything to do with him I feel like I am going crazy...
- •
Thread Starter- MJM017
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Re: Just Need Some Support with the Divorce Process
Anon,
It's best to have all divorce matters, including finances, be handled by your lawyer as you know. I assume your attorney told your stbx this.
My advice is to let that stand. No need to pay the lawyer $$$$ for a repeat. Put a spam flag on his email. Empty the spam folder once daily without looking at the contents. Same with texts and phone mail. It's not important.
It's a dark night of the soul that we've all painfully gone through with these spouses and separation. I learned the hard way to stop the tug of war by letting go of my end of the rope and walking away.
No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa
- 647osd
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Re: Just Need Some Support with the Divorce Process
Has his sexual orientation been made open in the divorce proceedings? That he actually left you but is now making things worse? I would get a new lawyer if yours isn't aggressive enough. I would sue him for slander if he cannot substantiate it. I would make his life a living hell if he persists in attacking you personally. He chose his life and to walk out. I would let him endure the process and move on. Get yourself an order of protection, a firearm if necessary, and/or a good loyal guard dog. I wouldn't play his games anymore.