" Somehow the years I was enjoying being married were simply years of resentment building up in her."  

That's the thing, isn't it?  While we were acting in good faith they were engaged in resentment-fueled deception.  

 

sssskknight wrote:

Thank you all for your advice. Another thing shocked me was that my wife broke up with the woman without any mercy (mostly because my wife thought the presence of that woman violate my wife's normal life). If she did this once, whether she will do the same thing to me one day.

This.   My GX had a history of "writing people off"...  her high school and college friends, family, the mailman...  This time it was my turn.    I was naive to think she couldn't do it to me..her life long friend and husband.

I would definitely pay attention to your wife's actions more so than any words.    The thing is, you shouldn't  have to to that..   That, I think, is the difference between us and them...we mean what we say and say what we mean.  If I say "I love you and want to be with only you forever"  I mean it and stand by it.   Its a scary thing to think their words and actions can change with the wind or tides (or what pretty person comes along).