I was totally where you are now for about 6 years. It was miserable. I was awful to him. I wanted him to make the move to leave. I felt totally empty. Drained. I was probably not being the best mother I could by any means. 

Low points for me were:

breastfeeding my 6 month old when I found out he'd had unprotected sex with several men. Not only did I need to get tested but had to come to terms with the fact that if he had given me something my daughter could have also contracted it. 

watching him become animated and excited when in the presence of very young men. 

constantly knowing that he was trying to hook up with men whilst being told I was crazy to be thinking this. 

I didn't want to die. But I did not want to live my life. 

Then he blew the whole marriage up in one go by getting arrested trying to hook up with a policeman pretending to be a child pretending to be an adult who then disclosed he was a child!

It was awful but he was actually unable to be in the house until the authorities had decided whether or not he was a danger to his own children.

His behaviour started off as watching gay porn, and spiralled to something unimaginable. 

I'm not saying your husband would go this far but you have to ask yourself this. 

Does he make you feel safe?
Does he make you feel valued?
Does he make you happy?

A man does NOT have to be physically or sexually abusive for them to be abusing us. I was emotionally abused fo years. 

My story is still being written but this is what happened to me after he was carted off (let's not worry about what happened to him).

After the initial shock I felt relief.
I wasn't having to constantly think "what if? what's he doing? am I crazy? Do I need help?"
My libido returned with a vengeance once I realised I never again had to have sex with someone in order to stop them finding what they needed from men. I wanted to have sex again. 
I started to eat properly. He had been a feeder and hated it if I lost weight. I guess "pretty" wasn't what he was into.
I lost weight and started to really feel, dare I say it, normal!
My children, although confused and sad about the sudden exit of their father became relaxed and happy. 
They stopped having tantrums. 
We all laughed more.
I stopped having my first glass of wine at 6pm. I used to have one before he walked through the door so I could bear his lying face.   

Then...
I started talking online to a guy I'd briefly dated when I was 18.
We met. It was instant. We are now deeply in love and having the time of our lives. My children adore him. 
I feel safe. I feel desired. I feel sexy. I feel completely alive. I feel things I NEVER felt from day one of being with my ex. 

We deserve so much. And there are wonderful men out there who will truly desire us, make us feel safe, look after our hearts and our feelings. 

I am only frustrated that I did not call it sooner. But then my ex was telling me nothing was wrong, that his previous "blip" had never been repeated, he was straight, he only wanted me, he'd never broken the promises he made to me the time I found out about the "first" encounter. 

I so wanted to believe him. But I also think he was desperately unhappy and he needed to be true to himself that I was not what he wanted. 

My therapist said something interesting. People who have been in the closet for as long as he had find it extremely easy to lie. They've been lying to themselves for years. They've been lying to others too (sad I know but when you have been brought up in a strict Catholic family in the 70s you're hardly going to cartwheel out of the closet and do jazz hands singing I Am What I Am). 

I know it's hard to hear but it is very likely your husband will be lying to you. It's surprisingly easy for men to hook up with men. It seems to take very little effort. If he hasn't done it already, it's only a matter of time. 

I promise you that if you end things now, you won't look back. You will feel free. That ball of anxiety I know you have in your stomach will roll away. You'll be able to breath again. And your kids will be fine. And he will be happier.

I wish you all the best I really do.