TLDR: I’m wondering what advice anyone has for a straight spouse on telling one’s parents about divorce and also advice on navigating relationships with in-laws.

My wife (26F) and I (26M) have decided to lovingly end our relationship of 7 years. She came out originally as bisexual and after some self discovery and dating another person (in a consensual non-monogamous fashion) she said to me that she is lesbian and is afraid she would not be able to continue in a purely heterosexual relationship.

All in all, we tried our best to make a mixed-orientation marriage work but we both came to the realization that our paths are just too different to continue and it would be best to separate.

It’s been about a month since we decided we’re going to separate and get a divorce. Her friends are aware and I have been telling select friends the truth about my marriage. Those conversations have been surprisingly helpful and I’ve had a lot of positive conversations with my friends.

Now that the holidays are over, it’s time to be real with our families. We plan to tell our parents individually that we’re ending our marriage. She plans to disclose the truth to her parents and I plan to do the same with my parents (with her permission that I tell my parents that she is gay).

Of note, I have a very good relationship with my in-laws and I’m hoping to leave the door open for a relationship with them post disclosure/divorce. However, we are both concerned how this revelation will affect the relationships we have with her parents (due to strong religious views on gay/lesbian relationships). We know that this situation is really going to suck for the short-term and we both want to be supportive of each other through this (we really do want to lovingly end things in a respectful way).

On the other hand, I’m hoping my parents will respect my decision to divorce; all I plan to ask of them is that they be supportive of me and that I can come to them for advice if needed. I don’t need to hear their thoughts on same-sex relationships or what they think of my wife. I want to keep things as plain as can be, especially since I have to have this conversation over the phone as my parents live out-of-state.

I’m wondering what advice anyone has for a straight spouse on telling one’s parents about divorce and also advice on navigating relationships with in-laws.