You have lots of great advice. I wish you luck! Sounds like she is being honest, didn't cheat on you, lie to you and disrespect you. If true, then she really does value the relationships, because HER ACTIONS match the words. Keep watching the actions, they tell all. I hope it works out for you man, definitely agree though, feel it all, do not do anything to numb it, doing so gets you through it faster because you deal with it vs. bury it. 

I've decided to make an Instagram account to document my process through this, in hopes that my sharing of my story can help others.
Also looking for anyone else sharing their story, and how they moved forward after their spouses disclosure.
Str8.husband if you want to follow , share and support.
Thank you guys!

Last edited by Corey (September 13, 2023 3:15 pm)

Hi Corey!

Man it is such a hard journey to have to go on with young children involved. My husband of 10 years came out as gay in December last year and it has been a tough year navigating shared custody of our three young children. I am confident that in the future (possibly years away) we will be able to be friends again, but until then we remain friendly. And I think that will bridge the gap between being husband and wife and rediscovering a friendship in years to come. I’m not ready to be his friend yet, but I see the value in being friendly and keeping up a civil relationship until we get there. For me, it’s all about the kids. I don’t want them to have parents that can’t stand each other because the only people that really affects is the kids. And they didn’t choose this life either. I constantly check in with myself to make sure I’m recognising my own needs in our current relationship and not putting myself last as I so often did during our marriage. Im learning to be my own advocate and to know that actually, I matter.

So in summary, I think we have the opportunity to pave our own way forward with our exes, plenty of people won’t understand how/why we do it the way that we do it, but I think as long as you are checking in on yourself and constantly evaluating how it is making YOU feel (any act of friendship with her), you will find a new way of being a family with her and your boys.

When I told my therapist about going to various things with my ex and our kids, she was amazed at how I could do that within the first year especially after such a massive betrayal, but she said that as long as I continue to check in on myself and how I feel about it, valuing my own feelings as well as those of my kids, and she knows I can still see his “assholeness” for what it is, that we will find our own way forward as a family.

You can hear the first part of my journey on the Our voices podcast - I am Bridget Walker, and I find it so interesting to listen back to now as so much has changed in the 6 months since then, but I know that those feelings were true and valid and helped shape my journey from there.

Best of luck finding a new way forward with your family!