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1 of 1- Tiggerslife
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I need to vent!
This is my 2nd time posting here. I read everyone’s postings, occasionally comment, and find it is nice having a spot to go where what I am going through is understood. I need to vent, so here it is.
It has been seven weeks since my husband walked out of our home, choosing his other life over our life. Our life included 35 years of marriage, an adult son, a granddaughter, pets, good careers and a nice house. The life he chose is filled with a twice daily use of meth, bi sex parties and meth infused weekends with other gay men. Over the years he has changed from being a supportive, loving husband and father, into a serial liar, cheater and functioning meth addict. I found out about the second life two months ago.
After so many years of his lies and finally learning what was actually happening, I want to put this behind me, grow as an individual and get away from him and his toxic ways. We signed separation paperwork two weeks ago. We were supposed to sign divorce paperwork last week, but he changed his mind on what we had already agreed to.He decided he wants to hire his own lawyer (which I wanted him to do in the beginning), set up his own plans for divorce and then start negotiations.
I was so happy to be signing the paperwork and was surprised with how smoothly it had transpired. Then to have him back out. The lawyer said to give him 2-3 weeks to visit with a lawyer and he’ll be back. So, I have to find patience somewhere.
After dealing with years of his gaslighting and lying, I am just tired. I am tired of the lies and the games. I’m tired of coming in second or third. I feel I am once again dealing with his web of deception and just want to be done. I try to tell myself this won’t last forever and it’ll be done by the end of the year. But this is tough.
i realize I look horrible, I am exhausted, not eating well, not exercising or drinking enough water. I need to take better care of myself. The road ahead is long, bumpy and full of potholes, but at least it is a road and the imovement is forward. Starting today I am going to start eating better, drinking water and taking vitamins. I will eventually get there.
Last edited by Tiggerslife (September 24, 2023 9:58 am)
- Anon2222
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Re: I need to vent!
Right there with you!
My gay-ex dragged his feet for months and I ended up filing the paperwork. Then he took over a month after the initial paperwork was served to get a lawyer (I, too, recommended he get one right away). And then he wanted to start over, because now he had a lawyer. So that delayed everything another month.
Now, he has changed his mind on what we had agreed upon. Now he is making more and more demands, because he's upset (he found out just how much I am legally entitled to, and that he can't just abandon me *eye roll*).
All I wanted to do was make this as quick and easy as possible...but of course, now it is an expensive drama.
I am also taking horrible care of myself. I'm exhausted all the time, stressed, eating junk, sedentary. I'm also trying to take the steps towards taking care of myself. Get my home set up and decrease the clutter (he left a ton of stuff).
It is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster. But, it does get easier as time passes. My situation is a bit more complicated, as I have some medical issues that make everything harder, but despite how long it's taking me....I am slowly healing.
You are fresh into this, so expect some swings up and down. But, you will get there. And we're all here for the vents, news, and stories.
I wish I had the magic thing to say to make it all easier, but hopefully knowing you are not alone is some comfort
- Tiggerslife
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Re: I need to vent!
Hello Anon, we do have similarities. Im sorry to hear what you are going through as it isn’t something you deserve. This website and everyone has helped me in changing my outlook into a more positive one.
It is so hard to eat healthy. Today I decided to make a different type of visit to the grocery store. One that involves me grabbing fruit and vegetables that are already cut and ready to go. Kills me to pay the extra money, but I’ve decided this is only temporary and I need to make my health a priority.
Thank you for sharing your story and your helpful words. I appreciate it.
Tigger 
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Thread Starter- gwendolyn_C
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Re: I need to vent!
Sorry, ladies - the drama is real, but I'm glad you have lawyers! Let the lawyers fight out the details. They are your advocates and know the law. I told my future ex-husband also to get an Attorney in the beginning. I even gave him free recommendations. He started to ask for more, but the attorneys negotiated the terms. My Attorney advised me on places I shouldn't bend! Wishing you both strength to get to the other side.
Tiggerslife - I am so sorry - 35 years of marriage is a long time, but you have more beautiful chapters to write! Take care of your body, mind, and soul! Don't allow him to steal more of your quality of life!