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Welcome to the OurPath (formerly Straight Spouse Network) Open Forum.
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    September 12, 2023 7:23 pm  #21

    lily
    Member

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    Re: Help

    That sounds to me like you have your ducks in a row - visited a lawyer and gained support of family.

    You know you want to end the marriage and he doesn't.

    You know - do yourself the credit of not self-doubting - you know he is gay, hiding it and denying it, you know he is lying to you and you know pretty much enough to conclude he is cheating on you.

    You want him to be supportive, both financially and in amiability as you divorce but currently unable to get him to even acknowledge divorce is what is needed.

    I was in a similar situation, and was able to delicately negotiate an agreement from him to go ahead with divorce and no fight over a fair settlement if I was prepared not to talk about him being gay with his family and friends.  By delicately I mean not even using the word gay.

    He then went behind my back and sweet talked my closest friends first.  Before I'd even spoken to them myself.  But, on the positive side, I had divorce underway. 

    Yes, you are young enough to make a good life and every chance at happiness.  And too young to stay in a deteriorating situation - this is not just about having hope in your life it is also self preservation.

    I did not work out he was gay in denial until I was 57.  By the time I left I was more scared of staying than leaving - why wait around for that?

     

     

     

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