OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+. Your contribution, no matter how small, helps us provide our community with this space for discussion and connection.


BE A DONOR >>>


You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?

Welcome to the OurPath (formerly Straight Spouse Network) Open Forum.
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
If this does not apply to your topic, please find another forum.
* Please be aware this is a public forum, do not post any personally identifiable information you do not wish to make public.
* Opinions posted here, including that of the Administrator, are the poster's own and do not necessarily reflect the views or policies of OurPath.
* As a peer-to-peer network, any advice given is that of a peer, based on personal experience, and should not be considered professional in nature.
* Any discussion of LGBT related issues is acceptable provided it remains constructive and respectful of other viewpoints. Hateful, degrading, or prejudiced speech and/or personal attacks will not be tolerated.
NOTE: Due to recurring spam abuse, you must register to post.


  • Index
  •  » Is He/She Gay
  •  » Is my husband gay? We have 13 years sexless marriage.

    • 1 2  Jump to

     

    August 31, 2023 9:08 pm  #11

    Jenny2023
    Member

    Offline


    Re: Is my husband gay? We have 13 years sexless marriage.

    Thanks Dutchman and Grace,
    I will try to get him to sexual therapist or couple therapist with me to see if it helps. He definitely has sex drive, because I saw that he visited stripchat, he also has Reddit and snagchat in history data but I couldn’t see the details. I wanted to see what porn did he watch so bad, because I wanted to have evidence or at least if I see him watch gay porn for one time then it would make sense to me, and I will definitely give up and walk away without hesitation.

    I don’t have high sex drive, that’s why I let it goes for many years of no sex like this, I am fine with just 1-2 a month, but after 4 years of nothing and rejections, I start to question his sexual interest. He wouldn’t tell me. He visits bathrooms a lot during the day, so I am sure he has some virtual activities there, my guess is that he might be a porn addiction, I am fine if he is addiction to straight porn but I highly suspect that he might be addicted to something else, because if he watches straight porn, I think he would love to have sex with his wife after watching it. I wonder if there is any other websites that gay guys meet up to have sex? I wanted to see if he is registered or have accounts there.

    He does goes out in the weekend a lot, but only 1-3 hours max, then returned home, he said he went to the store and he usually brings back stuffs from store. Now that I learnt it’s so easy for gay guys to have sex, they go to sniffies and they can see who willing to meet, have sex in any public place and go home. I am scared that he could be gay, he could easily do that without my knowledge. But I don’t have proof, everything is just in my imagination and suspicion.

    Lot of wives don’t find out after 20-30-40 years into marriage and I am scared that I would find out one day, that’s why I want to dig into the truth now.

    If he truly doesn’t have sex drive or asexual, I wouldn’t want to divorce him, it means he truly loves me but just not interested in sex, because he is a really nice person except his mystery sexual interest, he is the main one who takes care of everything and keep everything in place. But if he is interested in men or trans women, I want to get out now, because I don’t want to be a beard and he doesn’t love me in this case.

    Is there a way to track their visited websites or history through internet router? We use Comcast. He deleted the history on his phone and I can’t find much.

    Last edited by Jenny2023 (August 31, 2023 9:10 pm)

     

    September 1, 2023 5:31 am  #12

    Grace1958
    Member

    Offline


    Re: Is my husband gay? We have 13 years sexless marriage.

    I don't know if you can see his history. It depends on if he has it set to clear after each time, and if he uses an account that saves to other devices. Sorry I'm in my 60s so I'm not terribly tech savvy. But if he is on reddit or another more public site you could join up yourself and see what he is up to that way, I think. 
    Just want to point out that if he is taking care of himself in the bathroom to porn, that he might not necessarily be gay, but into some sort of fetish that he feels will end your marriage. Like crossdressing, or S&M. 
    Honestly I dont know how you'd know for certain if he is hooking up with either gender unless you had him followed. 
    When it comes down to it, it's a decision for your family. If you can raise the kids alone and that's what you want, and are ok with him having custody some of the time, etc then you have to do what you need to do. But if you want to wait til the kids are grown, and have a companionship, well that's an option too. Especially these days with the cost of living so dear. 

     

    September 15, 2023 10:04 pm  #13

    TangledOil
    Member

    Offline


    Re: Is my husband gay? We have 13 years sexless marriage.

    I agree with Dutchman. Before I even read his response, there’s nothing in your post that would lead me to believe he’s gay. There definitely are intimacy issues that should be resolved as that is what you desire.

     

     

    1 2  Jump to

  • Index
  •  » Is He/She Gay
  •  »  Is my husband gay? We have 13 years sexless marriage.

    • Board footera

     

    Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum