I couldn't listen to the whole thing. A friend of mine sent it to me, thinking I may find it helpful (spoiler alert - it really wasn't). I should have stopped earlier but it was like being dragged into my nightmare...I could hear my gay ex saying all of it.

I got to the point where the one guy was talking about how he was fighting getting a divorce, because he had the perfect life. He had his gay lover, and then his wife to take care of his kids. And then they talked about how outrageous and extreme their wives reactions were when they found out about their gay affair. 

They were just so.....degrading. It was disgusting. They saw nothing wrong with their actions. At all. They saw nothing wrong with using their wives, manipulating them, gaslighting them. And they talked about how much they "loved" their wives.....I still can't wrap my head around these people. The ony guy mentioned that when he came out his wife didn't automatically leave (he said this meant she agreed to everything, because it was her responsibility to leave), and the interviewer asked her why, and he stopped and thought for awhile and then was like....well, I guess it's because of how much she loved me (and then went on about how much he destroyed her). They talked about how it was their wives fault for putting up with the behaviour. One found his gay lover 6 months BEFORE his wedding. Didn't tell his wife. Cheated for like 11 years and she left him for another man, saying how he was emotional unavailable, treated her like crap, etc....and he then ranted about her being a pathological liar, and going on about how could she cheat on him....but what he was doing was entirely different.

Never in my life could I ever treat another person this cruelly. Not even him. After all he has done to me. Maybe that makes me a sucker. But I'm the one that has to live with myself when all of this is said and done, and I can't sink to his level.

He continues to try to hurt me. He continues to be cruel. He continues to treat me like a piece of trash. I still get triggered. I still cry. I still feel like my soul is being surgically removed from my body and I can't breathe from the pain.

But I will never stoop to his level. I am a compassionate, caring, and wonderful person. I may be broken, I may still have a few gaping wounds and a whole lot of fresh scars. But I am a survivor. 

Last edited by Anon2222 (August 5, 2023 11:55 pm)

I've just listened to a little bit of the podcast.   It terrifies me to think that my husband could be having sex with men on the "down low".  It makes me sick.   I don't think that bisexual / gay women act this way - do they?  I realize that I have no control over what he does.  He has deceived me so easily over the years.