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- lily
- Member
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Re: I don't really understand
M-Kate wrote:
Yes, I know that divorce would be awful for me as well, and I don't think I'd feel any better. I'd probably still have the same anxiety and I'd be lonely. Is a bisexual husband better than no husband? I think that overall, my life may be better with him in it (if I can accept him).
One of the things you hear over and again from the straight spouse is that they are experiencing anxiety. I knew I was but somehow, thanks to input from ex, thought this was just me being anxious and due to my upbringing not my present circumstance.
When I settled down for my first night in my new home, yes first night, I was surprised to find the anxiety had gone.
Feeling lonely is something we all fear. What I came to after a few weeks in my new home was that it felt better to face it than fear it. Oh well see I had been with my ex for almost 40 years. He had been covering up the truth of me in his deception - turned out I felt less lonely because I had more of me.
I fell in love with someone I already knew well, it was wonderful. I was getting divorced and his wife left him and it just happened, I felt an amazing happiness for a little bit, then his wife came back.
Getting to know my neighbours has resulted in some really valuable friendship. I have not regretted my decision to leave my ex for one second. I feel a lot more comfortable living alone, with my cat and chickens, and my neighbours and bridge-playing friends than I was in my MOM.