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June 29, 2023 4:53 pm  #1


Just a thought

I am 3,5 months post separation. My good days are turning into weeks. Then grief surprises me for couple of days, but it’s not knocking me out any more.
Since I can’t change my past and can’t change the fact that my ex is gay, or bi (still don’t know, and it doesn’t make a diference to me), the best thing I can concentrate on is- what’s in it for me?
I am willing, since the beginning of our end, to find things in my life that will make me a better, kinder, more honest and more brave person. And I am here to tell you that I somewhat stepped out of my comfort zone, and life is giving me what I need. I find it hardest to not be able to share my new joys with my ex. But then again, I CANT change that- he doesn’t want me anymore. So I share with friends. And with myself. And the day will come when I won’t be attached to him anymore.
I don’t know if I ever felt this much pain, but I also never had this much trust in life, and I know that I will be not just ok, but happy on a more profound and peaceful kind of level. Life gives.
I am reading all of your posts and feel with all of you.

 

June 29, 2023 5:06 pm  #2


Re: Just a thought

Great to hear. We often say that with one step, every day, the rollercoaster will level out. It's nice to read some confirmation of that. Sometimes the thought of the future is scarier than it actually is.


“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer
 

June 29, 2023 8:03 pm  #3


Re: Just a thought

ellierigg wrote:

....I am 3,5 months post separation. My good days are turning into weeks. Then grief surprises me for couple of days, but it’s not knocking me out any more......

I'm 3-4 weeks post.....and still feel like a fish out of water. Safe, warm and cared for, everything I need at hand.....but I feel like I'm in a hiatus, like I don't really belong anywhere. And I know this may be how I feel for a while yet. 
I sometimes miss the company of the man I've known for so long but it's a vague emotion and one I have easily dismissed so far.

We're doing okay Ellierigg

E
 


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