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Welcome to the OurPath (formerly Straight Spouse Network) Open Forum.
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  •  » Newbie and Trying to navigate this new path at age 59!

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    May 19, 2023 11:54 am  #11

    Rob
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    Re: Newbie and Trying to navigate this new path at age 59!

    TeeWee,

    Your not old at all..


    I think some if the advice you see here is from people who lived through this.   For myself..I thought my GX was my best friend and soulmate..but once she decide to live her truth as gay and had a girlfriend..I was neither.

    It was horrifying to see this change in my spouse...it certainly says a lot about her as person moreso than saying all gay spouses are like this.

    In regards to her knowing..she knew...there was always something off with our sex life that I could quite put my finger on.. her having a gay affair explained a lot.  In info I hacked from her I got t he impression she though I was either naive and didn't know or must have known about her same sex attraction..   I was the former I guess. 


    Replies you get here again are just folks trying to help you out. I surmise one finds out just how much a soul mate and best friend their spouse is when they divorce them. 


    Wishing you strength and self love.

    "For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
     

    May 19, 2023 2:04 pm  #12

    Anon2222
    Member

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    Re: Newbie and Trying to navigate this new path at age 59!

    I was in this same frame of mind at the beginning of all of this. That was 5 years ago. I said these same phrases and everyone on the forum gave me the same warnings, and I was convinced I was different. That our relationship was different. I truly believed we were going to get through this together and would remain close friends. 20 years together.

    Sadly, this did not happen. He turned into a complete stranger and his treatment was cruel. I didn't believe it could or would happen. But, here we are.

    Honestly, I really hope that someone out there does make it through with a positive outcome. I know it's possible, it just doesn't seem to happen very often. Those who make it through to the other side relatively unscathed, I am truly happy for. So long as they are also taking care of themselves, and living their life to the fullest, and are happy, more power to them.

    Last edited by Anon2222 (May 19, 2023 2:05 pm)

     

    May 19, 2023 5:34 pm  #13

    ellierigg
    Member

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    Re: Newbie and Trying to navigate this new path at age 59!

    Dear TeeWee!
    I am 44, I separated from my partner of 13 years 2 months ago. Also my best friend, the love of my life, I  considered our relationship perfect.
    I don’t have much anger towards my ex, and I don’t feel like he lied to me for the lenght of our relationship. We loved each other dearly (still do), and were each others great support. I am trying to avoid him at the moment because it hurts to see him (kinda hard because we live in the same building). I know we will always be connected, but I have no idea if we will be able to be friends. So I’m just taking it day by day, and deciding to trust that life will lead me in the direction that  is good for me. If that means being friends one day- great. If not, I feel like it will also be great.
    I know and understand your pain and want to tell you that it will get easier, and that you will probobly discover some strength in yourself that you didn’t know existed. You survived the moment when you found out, so in can only go uphill from there (I know it doesn’t feel like it).
    For me, the main thing is to accept what happened, and to trust that life will be kind to me. It didn’t go the way I wanted and planned, but I’m open and trusting that good things will come.
    You seem like a very kind and warm human being, and I am sure life will give you goos things and many pleasant surprises.
    I am sending you a big hug!

     

     

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