Are YOU trying to work things out or were you in couples therapy before your discovery and now you are not sure what you want to do. I capitalized you because what you choose to tell friends may depend upon what you want their response to be.

Since you "want to talk about your life and how much you've been struggling because of this situation" are you hoping that they will support you if you decide to separate? Are you looking for them to encourage you to "stay the course", i.e stay in the relationship? Whom you decide to tell, and how much, is as important as whether to tell anyone.

If you are just looking for a shoulder to cry on try to find someone who is not going to tell you what to you should do and jump into "rescue" mode. Also, look for someone who does not tell others what you tell in confidence.

Definitely you need someone to talk to because keeping your feelings bottled up inside is toxic but perhaps now is the time to find a counseling professional for yourself and stop the couples therapy.

 

Last edited by Abby (March 23, 2023 12:17 pm)

Hi Masterly,

I agree with the above. The YOU needs to seek help first to reach  an informed and intelligent decision. I found it helpful to speak with my own therapist and my pastor (a Catholic priest).

I confided in what I thought were trusted friends and family.  They were not thoughtful or kind. It added more uncertainty than it did clarity.

Rob wrote:

..... I urge you to get your own therapist, psychiatrist, priest, rabbit.....
 

 
LOL....I know this is a serious subject but including the typo of "rabbit" brought a smile to my  face Rob

E

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (March 23, 2023 6:03 pm)

Typos..guess I'll leave it if it makes people smile. LOL.


Other thing I recall..  I was in therapy, kids were in therapy, dog was in therapy, fish were in therapy...  but not her.