Rob wrote:

......I urge everyone to not worry about the stuff..leave it all behind or get rid of it. A home is made of the people that are in it..not the the stuff.

 

Haha you sound like my oldest, homeless son. That's his philosophy on life. Sometimes I wish I could walk away with nothing 
....but

E
 

Abby wrote:

I organized a garage/yard sale and got him to come back to help for the two weekends it ran, then we split the proceeds equally. It was worth the work and it got rid of stuff he had not taken and did not want. 

 

Oh wow....that sounds very respectful answer for you both. So it went well?
My partner A. buys and sells things on Trademe, does it well but the other week he sold his bicycle and pocketed the cash. I should have said something but didn't and now feel I can't be bothered following it up....blah but the next week we had a $24 lotto win (woohoo!) and I purposely took the ticket, cashed it and gave him half

E
 

MJM017 wrote:

.....Have been undecided about family pictures dating back to the 1930s. They're of his paternal grandparents and uncles taken by a professional photographer. There are original newspaper clippings too. His last remaining uncle should have it but his family is difficult and over dramatic. It's scary to be nice to them. 
....I could be wrong but think you're stbx will take your lead with property division. He is afraid to look like the bad guy perhaps? Good luck with clearing out the stuff!

Haha....when it's memories from another family (and a family so difficult) the decision must battle with your need to be rid of it all? I'd send them an email with a timeline. If they don't communicate/come get it by such and such you'll burn or shred it all. And keep to your word. 
Actually when I was cleaning out/sorting photos a few months ago there were letters, photos I didn't want but that I was loathe to put in the rubbish just because I hated the thought of somebody finding them, reading them aghast that anybody could throw them out. 
So I burnt them. We sat outside with a metal container, a box of matches and a pile of photos, newspaper clippings, old letters and set fire to them one by one. A memory cremation. My history, my memories, my decision.

It's weird Mj...but it does seem that he is taking my lead, which feels really weird. But he still hasn't said one single word about anything! And probably won't unless I bring it up first. So fuck'im...I'm staying silent until it's absolutely necessary.
As for the stuff...there's a game of Jenga and the blocks are in a random box so old it might be an antique (not valuable, just old-timey) And I can't make myself throw it out...lol Nobody will care if I throw it out. Just me. 
I might drop it at a day-care or kindergarten

E

I did not get rid of any of the presents that my gay ex boyfriend gave me. We are f b friends and I have nothing against him but since I am married we do not call, etc each other. If I were some of the people here, I would shred it and burn it. I say do what is right for you.

Sam (Admin) You were asked not to post on this thread. Your position.here is tenuous at best. No more warnings, next time you will be banned for good.

Last edited by Sam (Admin) (March 17, 2023 7:29 pm)

walkbymyself wrote:

Elle, I'm the one who moved out, and in the middle of the whole Covid thing I moved across the country.  By necessity I had to keep it really simple in terms of what I took and what I left.

There are a few things I've missed -- really just photo albums I somehow missed or didn't have time to go through.  But it was actually nice to have an apartment that was empty except for things I really valued!  

 


Talk about not doing things by halves!!! Covid lent an extra complexity for much of life! 

My plan has been to slowly (because this separation won't be a 'stamp foot/throw stuff and storm out thing) sort through stuff and set aside what I know is mine. There are no pets to fight over, our children are adults and I can't imagine A. getting aggressive about assets. 
Yeah an empty canvas sounds kinda nice but I'll be moving in with my son, his gf and their two cats so the canvas is already half-coloured in lol

E.