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March 7, 2023 11:32 am  #1

Suggestions for couples help?

Hi all.
This is my first post.
My husband disclosed his identity as a trans woman and wants to at least explore his feelings and start hormones last Wednesday.
I am not doing well at all with this.  My grief and depression are at epic levels.
But I see if we have any chance to come to an understanding or even a future, we need couples counseling, preferably with gender issues in mind.
Sadly, I am a working artist and he is a stay at home dad.  We have no flex room in our budget to pay for couples therapy outright.  My insurance kind of covers individual therapy (thank God I already have a therapist) but not group work or couples.
Does anyone have any ideas on how to get us the help we need without $?


March 8, 2023 8:15 am  #2

Re: Suggestions for couples help?

What money is used for the hormone therapy?

Sorry but it's triggering to me
.we were broke, I was in therapy, the kids were in therapy, the dog was in therapy but my GX was very happy in a gay affair..

"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7

March 8, 2023 1:52 pm  #3

Re: Suggestions for couples help?


This is just my opinion. Your marriage and family come first. I'd suggest your h temporarily cut back or stop the hormone treatment (if you're paying out of pocket or for a large percentage of it) and put the money towards couples/family therapy. Continue the individual therapy too.

No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 

March 8, 2023 2:21 pm  #4

Re: Suggestions for couples help?

I'd stick with your individual counselor.  Don't go into couples counseling feeling "epic levels" of "grief and depression."   Also, most "gender therapists" work from the "affirmation model," and will be more concerned with pushing you to accommodate your husband than in brokering honest and equal discussion focused on compromise that allows both of you to get your needs met.   I'll also point out that your husband, in pushing so quickly to take cross-sex hormones, is not exhibiting empathy and understanding for your feelings.  



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