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- Abby
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
I hope that your children will be a source of love and support for you going forward.
Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
- firefly
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
You are strong and amazing. I am thinking about you today.
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Thank you all. I don't know where I'd be without this Forum
He looked at me when I said "I've been to a lawyer. I want to separate" and said "I thought this is a conversation you and I would have" as my son sat looking awkward. My son said "I know you've been having problems" then looked at me "and you've confided in me too" Which would have come as a shock to his father.
It's not all 'out on the table' yet. I still have 2 of my children to tell, which I'll do today.
I feel numb. Like I've walked through a door and found myself in a place that's foreign to me. The one thing that I keep hearing in my head is "you can't go back now"
E
KIA KAHA
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Thread Starter- Abby
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
But it is not the door to a walled garden. Having opened it you can breathe deeply and see and feel the world around you.
Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
- W10J
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Ellexoh_nz wrote:
Thank you all. I don't know where I'd be without this Forum
He looked at me when I said "I've been to a lawyer. I want to separate" and said "I thought this is a conversation you and I would have" as my son sat looking awkward. My son said "I know you've been having problems" then looked at me "and you've confided in me too" Which would have come as a shock to his father.
It's not all 'out on the table' yet. I still have 2 of my children to tell, which I'll do today.
I feel numb. Like I've walked through a door and found myself in a place that's foreign to me. The one thing that I keep hearing in my head is "you can't go back now"
E
Yeah, it is foreign and weird feeling, but good job, you got the hardest step out of the way! It isn't easy, but so much better.
- Toward the Light
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
I just looked up the meaning of your tag line, Elle.
Kia Kaha, indeed!
To help reestablish your sense of personal security, try repeating the following affirmations often OR write them on your morning mirror with soap, where you see them upon awakening:
I am grounded.
I trust in myself.
I trust in others.
I am safe and secure.
I have exactly what I need.
I am exactly where I am meant to be.
I am strong.
I trust in my body’s ability to heal me.
I am supported.
We are here for you. Lean on us. Kia Kaha.
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
....Yeah, it is foreign and weird feeling, but good job, you got the hardest step out of the way! It isn't easy, but so much better.
Numb. I'm still numb but that is to my benefit because it stops me from thinking I've made the wrong move.
You know Forum...my partner hasn't said one single word about this. How fucked up is that! It's like he had to acknowledge it when our son was in the room but since then nothing. I told my daughter yesterday and she was here when he came home from work. Nothing was said by either re the elephant in the room. My sister said "people don't like hearing bad things about people they love" So true!
I'm on holiday (by myself) in 2 days and I'll leave him with some info on Collaborative or Combative ways to handle this. But once again....it's me doing all the talking, me doing all the emotional work on this.
He'll be thinking heaps, maybe reading up on stuff but not talking to anybody. Fuck!!!
E
KIA KAHA
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Thread Starter- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
I just looked up the meaning of your tag line, Elle. Kia Kaha, indeed!...
That is so cool you did that
Elle
KIA KAHA
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Thread Starter- Rob
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Re: 2022 was a fucked-up year
Elle,
Hang in there... He is , this you know, thinking, processing, plotting.. He probably has no words or lies he can think of yet I would just stay the course...stick to all your routines.. keep things as normal and the same as possible ...at least that was what I did.. I was kind as I always had been. it was a "dont provoke or poke the bear" strategy but also routines kept me grounded giving some sense of control of my life.
Know that once you officially file in the courts (at least where I am) there has to be an end..
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7