After 12 years of marriage, my ex came out as transgender and bisexual. He moved out last year due to the fighting. After I got over the storm, I told him I would try and see if our marriage could work. We have THREE kids together. It was obvious in marriage counseling that he was done with the marriage. So obvious the marriage counselor said it wasn't good for my health to continue counseling with my husband at the time.

Some problems that added to our marriage during this time was that he blocked me on a transgender profile he created and said I was not allowed to see it in fear that I would "beat the sh** out of him", and accused me of being jealous and insecure. When he came out trans and bisexual, it is true I slapped him. We had a volatile argument after learning of lies for 12 years of marriage.I thought I was forgiven for the slap because he slept with me for 6 more months, then moved out, and then came home in November and slept with me again.

Well, after he slept with me in November, I begged him to please let me join his transition journey, including adding me on his facebook page. He panicked got angry at me and said he no longer wanted to work on the marriage, that I didn't respect his privacy. I snooped around and saw some public facebook posts on January 13 2016 where he said he was going to divorce me and that I was abusive. On the SAME day, I have a text from him saying he wasn't sure if he wanted a divorce yet. So he was telling me one thing and his friends something else. He also was giving me the silent treatment a lot because he claimed I caused PTSD and panic attacks against him.

During mediation, he told the mediator that I was abusive, lied and said I have "borderline personality disorder" and harassed him. I am very very upset because this is not the man I knew. The person I knew would never have blocked me on Facebook. I also feel there are a ton of misunderstandings between me and him. My therapist said I don't have borderline personality disorder. I have given her 6 months of texts and emails to read to give her his side of the story and she said he is the one with the problem.

Even with my therapist support, I am very hurt and not functioning that great some days. I can't believe the person that claimed to love me so much, that shared 3 childbirths with me, would do this. I am afraid of people thinking I am transphobic, when I am not! I was understandably upset when he came out to me! But I still said I would try, and he left me! My self esteem is so low because HE left ME. I feel like was I really that terrible of a person? It's true I reacted strongly but he had zero empathy for me. I want to know if there are any other spouses out there that was dumped by the trans spouse? Because I feel like nobody can relate to the fact that I tried, but he still left me and the kids. Thanks for any help. 

Also, if anyone knows of an active group for people like me, please tell me.