OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+. Your contribution, no matter how small, helps us provide our community with this space for discussion and connection.


BE A DONOR >>>


You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



November 26, 2022 9:30 am  #11


Re: I Hate Him

Same here Clif.  The immorality and entitlement of these spouses is boundless and infinite...the law written with it. 

My GX got was she was entitled to under law..half the assets..she was also entitled to half the debt.

Thank God we parted ways before 2019 and I can deduct the money I pay her on my taxes. After then somehow someone in U.S. congress and presidency thought it was moral that one must pay taxes on alimony one pays that never enters your bank account. 

Lots of room for hate when talking about money.  In this life and the next I can say I honored my marriage vows and took care of my GX in this life.  Can they say they honored anything in either life?


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

November 26, 2022 3:33 pm  #12


Re: I Hate Him

Thank God I organized all the divorce paperwork early on... before developing all this feelings  of hate.

All I want is for her to leave my house and to have as much contact as is required by the law because of the kids.

I never thought I could get to the point of wishing not having ever met her....

And I know it's all part of the grief and all that... but man... she made such a big effort to make it blatantly and painfully obvious that she doesn't want me in her life that I can't do nothing but respect that effort.

Last edited by Bertuccio (November 26, 2022 4:43 pm)

 

November 26, 2022 6:44 pm  #13


Re: I Hate Him

it is definitely a pattern where people first arrive here and talk about how their partner is their best friend.  And  as things progress it becomes clear that it is yet another case where our 'best friends' are leading us round by the nose.

It's selfish manipulative treatment - my ex completely trashed my life just to make himself more comfortable but he still became increasingly resentful towards me - we frequently become anxious and depressed and no wonder.  

Getting to the point where it's us feeling resentment, anger and hate is a good thing.  At least we will start protecting ourselves and not giving any more away to a selfish user and feeling resentful of their poor treatment is light years ahead of feeling their resentment and not knowing what you're doing to cause it.

Me being a girl was the problem for him in a nutshell.

He was jealous of me for being the real thing, able to attract the attention of a man when should be him - He wanted the man.  

He was possessive of me - I was His box of tissues.  he would never let me go when I was trying to leave.

He was increasingly resentful, to the point that he felt toxic to my touch - nothing stopped him from blaming me that he wasn't with the man he dreamed of.

You can't make fake work over real, it just doesn't.  For all that it was him holding onto me it didn't change the way he felt - he was repulsed by me, wrong end of the magnet repulsed, and though I bonded with him, the him I was offered to bond with was only skin deep, I had a sense of repulsion for the hidden him - I asked early on in the piece if he thought he might be gay. 




 

 

November 27, 2022 9:19 am  #14


Re: I Hate Him

Mushroom,

You described the arrogance and manevolence they have...we learn their extremely low opinion of us. 
Know that in real reality we are worth more than they can comphrehend..worth more than any words spoken over us. Just because they scream something or get angry at us does not make it true. 

Thoughts of courage and stoicism for you.


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

November 27, 2022 10:04 am  #15


Re: I Hate Him

Rob wrote:

You described the arrogance and manevolence they have...we learn their extremely low opinion of us.

 This thread, today really hit me hard. I've been having so many good days, but yesterday I fell apart. On a date no less fortunately, we are friends first and she has been through similar and was very understanding. The lying, the gaslighting, Thanksgiving all built up and I lost it. She lies so well now and try's to tell me "It's not a lie, its just my heart is saying something different than my brain". She makes me try to question reality. I can not believe I was with her for 23 years....someone who claims to respect me, etc, has an incredibly low opinion of me. That hurt like no other. Still does. 

She gets so angry at me for pushing to finalize the divorce as if I am the one who has been lying, having an affair, and coming home at 330AM loud as shit. I know I need to be the adult, because my kids deserve that and they are innocent. I am so angry that she told me for years how immature and selfish she was, but I always brushed it off....she is the most selfish person I know. I'm just so fucking angry right now......

 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum