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October 7, 2022 10:46 am  #31

Re: Today is bad. Again.

hi sdwaphil,

eventually you will have to let her go out of self preservation.

so here's the question - do you still believe she feels the same romantic love for you?

do you believe it in your gut? that's the place to go, listen to yourself first. just by yourself, what is your body saying to you?.



October 7, 2022 9:50 pm  #32

Re: Today is bad. Again.

Oh, Lily, my gut tells me no. But what do I do with that? She's the love of my life. I'm 50 years old. I never to thought I'd be here. I'm just so crushed.


October 7, 2022 10:00 pm  #33

Re: Today is bad. Again.

I’m also 50 and also here and also crushed .

At least we are not alone.

     Thread Starter

October 8, 2022 6:55 am  #34

Re: Today is bad. Again.

Victo, please know that you are not alone. I found out in May of 20/20. It was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. I could not sleep. I cried. I wish you and Phil all the best.


October 8, 2022 11:25 am  #35

Re: Today is bad. Again.

I am so sorry you are in this position, but you are and so hang on here and keep talking.

The point I want to make is you only have one body.  The depth of your crushedness is testament to your strength and endurance but it is also testament to the level of emotional punishment you have been on the receiving end of.

we spend so much time wondering if we are being loving enough (thank you Mr Gaslighter) and don't get to the question of how much loving are we receiving.

It was my lawyer who told me he was being emotionally abusive and financially abusive towards me.  Oh.  I had never heard those terms or realised I was in an abusive relationship at all - I thought it was all my fault (thank you Mr Gaslighter) that I felt so crushed.

Only one body.  Put yourself first for a bit.  Keep in communion with your gut instincts.



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