My heart goes out to you. I had a 13 pound 15 year old dog that I had to put to sleep a year ago. I found out that my ex boyfriend was gay in June 2020 even though he would not admit it. I stayed with him a year. My son had moved in with me and his large dog bit mine. My ex kept my dog at his house for 3 months after the bite(he is an animal lover) and we spend four nights a week with him. I wanted my dog child safe. I was mocked for it on this forum by a member who lives with a gay man. I was crushed to say the least. My ex also paid the expensive vet bills.  I understand your pain. I know that pets mean a lot to pet parents.

Gloria wrote:

My heart goes out to you. I had a 13 pound 15 year old dog that I had to put to sleep a year ago. I found out that my ex boyfriend was gay in June 2020 even though he would not admit it. I stayed with him a year. My son had moved in with me and his large dog bit mine. My ex kept my dog at his house for 3 months after the bite(he is an animal lover) and we spend four nights a week with him. I wanted my dog child safe. I was mocked for it on this forum by a member who lives with a gay man. I was crushed to say the least. My ex also paid the expensive vet bills.  I understand your pain. I know that pets mean a lot to pet parents.

I can't even fathom why someone would mock you for loving a dog?!

I don't care what anyone says, dogs fill a void in a lot of people's lives and they are every bit as important as anything else out there. 

With this separation...I could cut back on vet care, not have a dog walker, and leave my dogs alone all day for longer as I now have to commute for work....but, to give them less care kills me. My one girl would be miserable sitting at home alone all day without any exercise. And I'm tired in the evenings, so the odds of being able to give her the exercise she needs in the evenings are low. Which is why I am struggling with all this. Because I feel like I would be providing a home that doesn't meet all her needs and she could have a better life elsewhere. Which is so painful to think. It fricking hurts like hell. I also don't know if I can keep the house and my one dog would not do well in a small space. It's all so painful. They are living, feeling beings and I just don't want to compromise their care over my situation. It's not of their doing and they shouldn't suffer. And yet, I desperately want to keep them. 

I don't fault you for doing what you had to do to keep your dog safe. 

Anon2222, I understand. I loved my dog as much as someone might love their child. I still have my cat and I love her with all of my heart. Do what is best for your pet children just like a parent would do with their human children. I wish you all the best.

Grace, I understand since I am a pet child lover. I hope she can be your support animal. Do what is best for you and your pet.

Anon, Oh I couldn't even imagine.  

My husband doesn't want the pets at all.  He locks them out of his part of the house and won't even as much let them out potty now that he's out.  I actually got another pet after he came out....he said "we didn't need another one" and I felt there clearly hadn't been "we" for a long time so got myself a new kitty.  It was petty I know, but she's a sweetheart and I love her.  

I suffer from disability and fatigue so know that those simple chores like feeding and walking can be downright impossible.  I do have my kids that help, they have daily chores to help with the pets, but they will be back in school soon so more on me.    My pets are such a huge part of my families life and how I cope with everything that is going on.  They are wtih me when I'm in agonizing pain or recovering from a hospital stay.  They cuddle me when I cry.  two of the cats can tell when I'm having a panic attack and sit on my chest to try to help calm me down.  They snuggle the kids when they are sick or have a nightmare.  they are part of our family.

Here are some hopefully helpful suggestions:

If you have an attorney see if this is something that can be worked into the divorce agreement.

With your job is there a chance you can work from home to help with your health?  Adjust your hours?  Or transfer to a location closer?

Is there a older kid in your neighborhood, sibling, niece/nephew, family member, church member, friend, you could pay to come let them out and play mid day ish/after school?

They are a bit on the pricey side but they make automatic pet feeders that you either set to a timer or via an app on your phone to feed.

talk wtih your vet office, explain the situation, see if they are willing to work with you.  Many of them will and understand not only how much we love our pets but that finance issues can happen.  Or you can ask for Care Credit, this will allow you to pay the vet bills more like a credit card with minimum payments.  I've had to use this a few times when two certain fur babies decided to share a few bags of Chocolate or someone needed surprise surgery, or someone possibly got into Antifreeze and had to go to the vet ER.  

Pets are pretty resiliant and will eventually get used to the new schedule.  They have each other to keep them company/play and you high energy one will adjust.  Do what you can for them and love them.

I don't think you should have to give them up, not when they mean so much to you.  Sending you and the fur babies all the hugs.