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June 11, 2022 11:36 am  #11

Re: Not Sure How to Respond

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

Crystal_H wrote:


You could actually see this as a wonderful thing. Even with all the stress, confusion, anger, sadness....you name it, we've all been through it. Even after all the trauma and feelings of loss....this man has admitted this to you. He's typed it out and sent it to you. Proof that in all the time you were with him he was keeping part of who he was from you (and probably many other people too)....that he's gay..
And maybe you could see it as a starting point for you to start putting this part of your life firmly behind you


Hi Elle, it has been a few weeks of processing and your comment really has stuck with me. Especially after reading all the stories on here of how many are still in denial. It  really saddens me. As mentioned before we divorced before he came out and now that I know I feel like I can have the closure I’ve been looking for for over 3 years.
I did end up responding to him after he came out in the email. From his tone I could tell he was bothered by me calling our marriage a lie, deceiving and a scam. I mentioned to him that I was needing to process and if it was forgiveness he was looking for I wasn’t and am not ready to give at this time. In reading the traumatic situations on this forum it seems that the normal trend is that there is little to no understanding for the SS. No compassion for the hurt that was caused by the non SS. I also find it difficult to put into words all the pain that was caused in our marriage. I listened to this amazing podcast that Kristin Kalbli did on Graying Raimbows. She describes all my feelings to the T. I’m almost tempted to send this to my GXH. What would you advise on that? This is the link if anyone is interested in listening.
I appreciate all your input on this form Elle.



June 11, 2022 2:53 pm  #12

Re: Not Sure How to Respond

Crystal_H wrote:

Thank you for posting this. I've listened to Kristen so often on Voices.
It's 7.30am and the house is too quiet to play it at the moment but I'll certainly listen to it later

I'm envious of any straightspouse whose been given the gift of honesty, written down no less! by the very person who tilted their whole world..
... If you think he'll listen to Kristen's podcast... If you think he deserves to hear it... If you think it will matter to him send it, only you know how he'll respond


KIA KAHA                       

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