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May 17, 2022 7:42 pm  #11


Re: Crushed and Heartbroken

Millenial is so right it hurts just as much at any age - and they are so good at deceit it's not funny so it is easy for years to go by while you try and make sense of it.

I was 19 when I met my ex so he stole my 20's, then he stole my 30's then he profoundly trashed me while he stole my 40's and most of my 50's.

so there are aspects that do get worse with time - I do not regret not having children with my ex, I am grateful I didn't but I am sad every day of my life since my last egg dropped in my 40's and still it got worse - hard to explain but the toxicity of his presence increased and increased.  It literally became a situation where I needed to leave.  And you know, when it came down to it, I just didn't want all my life to have been about him so I squared my shoulders to the task of getting away.  I have not regretted it for one nano second.

And just yesterday I discover a whole new secret he was keeping.  We lived together worked together and socialised together - in a small country town, so I didn't really think he had much opportunity but just found out he had a group of cronies he was meeting up with and I had no idea.

 

May 17, 2022 8:42 pm  #12


Re: Crushed and Heartbroken

lily wrote:

,..yesterday I discover a whole new secret he was keeping.  We lived together worked together and socialised together - in a small country town, so I didn't really think he had much opportunity but just found out he had a group of cronies he was meeting up with and I had no idea.

 
Damn Lily... That's rubbing a bucketful of salt into an open wound!
You're a strong woman but that's got to suck big time.. Hugs 🤗

Elle


KIA KAHA                       
 

May 18, 2022 1:48 pm  #13


Re: Crushed and Heartbroken

thanks Elle, yes it rattled me.   

I still struggle to wrap my head round the facts of what a sh!t my ex really was.  He presents as such a nice guy.  Stuff that happened, he was stunningly nasty to me in an underhand way so that nobody saw including me we all think oh he's such a nice guy - it's just that you get a sense of not really knowing him well, that is a comment people made to me every so often through the years.  I wish I'd realised what a red flag that is.  I wish I'd listened to myself in my 30's when I was distressed and complained to him that he was keeping me at arm's length all the time.

 

 

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