It has been 2 weeks since my husband told me he was transgender and feels like a woman trapped in a man's body and that he/she is attracted to men. It's alright though, he/she says it is good because now we can be "girlfriends". Um...No. This man I've been married to for 7 1/2 years and have a 4 yo boy and 2 yo girl with thinks I can just get over the lies and deceit and be friends. He was my first and made me think all the sex issues were my fault. I just never did it quite right. All of our relationship issues were my fault. I was too controlling, not sensitive enough, didn't take good enough care of myself, didn't wear enough makeup or dress up enough. Now I find out he wanted me to dress, look and act the way he really wanted to be himself.
I consider myself very adventurous in the bedroom and have been begging since we got married to try new things and he never would. Now he wants to get rid of me and be with a man, but would never try that with me. I've been begging him since we got married to be honest with me and to communicate and he refused. Now that he has, I am supposed to accept it and support him.
I am the idiot who does not view this as insurmountable. I feel we can work with this in a romantic capacity and now that he/she is finally being honest with me we can have a real relationship, but he/she just wants to end things now so he/she can be with a man. He/she is 41 years old with severe PTSD from the Navy and from being assaulted as a teenager and thinks that he/she can find a man that will treat him/her well and give him/her a "white wedding". I am the one willing to change my whole life for the person I married and love and I am still not good enough.
It all makes since now though. I wasn't married for love or even companionship. I was married to support a lie, to help strengthen the facade of man. He knew he was like this long before we met. There was never any love. People don't do this to people they truly love. And now I must listen to all of our friends and his/her family saying how brave he/she is. This is not brave. Bravery is doing the right thing even when you are scared to death. I was married even though he knew it was wrong. That wasn't brave, that was cowardice. I was lied to every time we were intimate, when we made a son, when he did his business in a cup so I could use it to make our daughter (he said it was stress from the deployment in Iraq and the PTSD). That was not brave. Now I am expected to support him and be his friend while he/she experiments with other things. While I am still living in the house because I cannot afford to leave. That isn't brave. That is cowardly, disrespectful and just mean.

Last edited by brandilarue (June 30, 2016 8:51 pm)