Lost,
    You are clearly in the bargaining stage, that "do I really have to go?" state, looking for reasons for stay while acknowledging the need to go.  You are running through the "up" side of life with your spouse--the comfort, etc--while also allowing yourself to express, fully, the pain of the life you've lived with him.  He sounds like a monster to me, frankly, for the way he subjected you, his pregnant spouse, to what was essentially the silent treatment, which is, in case you don't realize it, a form of relationship abuse.  That you haven't crumbled entirely under the years of abuse is a testament to your resilience and your core of self-worth your damaged and cruel spouse has done his best to destroy.
   What spurred me to write was what you have to say about your son, and not wanting him to have to change schools because that would be tough.  Yes, it would be a change and a challenge, but it seems to me you are temporizing, using his schooling as part of your "I don't really have to do this very hard thing, do I?" bargaining.  
  Please contextualize that change and challenge in the bigger, long term picture.  Because school is school.  It ends.  Whereas what he learns from observing his parents becomes part of his long term pattern in life, part of his emotional life, his character, his psychology.  He now knows about his father's secret homosexual life.  He now knows what kind of marriage his parents have.  He is going to be observing you and his father, and taking his cues about relationships from what he sees.  So what is better for him in the long run?  

To everyone who has left a comment, thank you all.
My son is all I have left in this relationship and luckily he has been more than a child. It almost feels like he has been sent as a guardian angel to keep me safe. I have been doing my best to bring peace in this family but there was always a problem big or small. Now I know that majority of the issues are not at all my fault, it all comes down to my husband being secretly gay and unhealthy in his mind. My baby deserves to be raised in a happy home.
I feel terribly old and damaged but just turned 38years old. Will get out and start fresh. That will be my new year resolution. My husband has no idea I am posting here. He told me I am in a jolly good mood for the past few days. That it is nice to see me relaxed. Even shared a picture of me smiling on his social media quoting 'love of my life'. What a clown. He doesnt know my smile comes from hope or ecsape and self awareness.
Chatted with my parents secretly last night about moving back and needing support until I get settled. I told them my husband is secretly gay so he will not join the move.  No further questions. They are going to get every lawyer in the family to find me the best legal team. I have funds to rent a place and schooling will be covered by my parents. My sister has already asked her boss if there is a job for me. Her therapist friend is going to help me and my son with trauma and crisis management. So I see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Thank you all for confirming my husband is gay. Wish you all the best.

Hello Lily,
I have always been an overachiever. When I want to get something done, I get it done. That is how and why I stayed trapped in this marriage i guess. Because I was determined to be the perfect wife and mother no matter what. I did everything, sacrificed everything to be a better beard. Lucky man at the end of the day! He will never find a better cover up than me. He'll regret losing me. Maybe it will make him come out. Don't care.
I am more shocked at my family, I thought they would tell me to get on with my life choices and find an affair partner if I crave a mans touch so much.
Anyway, it has been quite a day and my goodness, the shit I lived through and the lies accumulated... thanks to Sean I see them now. Plenty more lies I didn't write here are coming to my mind. How gullible I was! Going for a car wash in the rain, saunas to treat aches, traveling overnight in Bangkok when there are hundreds of direct flights,insisting staying at hotels alone for 'comfort' while I stayed at my parents,staying in the parking lot while I went shopping etc.. I don't need anymore proof. Already took photos of every Grindr chat I could,took photos of the facebook chats and emails, downloaded all reciepts and booking confirmation he kept on his computer for every trip since 2003 for tax purposes. There are plenty that suggest he was not where he claimed to be according to my insanely detailed agenda. Had no idea I was so obsessed with his whereabouts. I guess I knew things didn't seem right in the back of my head from early on.  But now I am free. Just needed the push. I am so good at pretending to be fine all the time. Will continue until I get to say A dieu.
I am so glad I found this platform. You are saving peoples lives. Once I get myself in a safe place, I shall contribute too. Thank you again.

lily wrote:

wow!  well done.   That is a tremendous amount to accomplish in 24 hours.

I think your plans are solid and well thought out. 

I'd just like to add that I think you do your son proud.  He must love you a lot.

you are still young, really.

wishing you all the very best in your new life, Lily.