I want to update the group. My GID husband was home for the holidays for one week. Once again, he never shared his itinerary with me and arrived the Wednesday before Christmas. His 'friends' picked him up. We had a good Christmas with my children. I knew it was time to get out when on New Year's Eve he was on the phone with his 'friend' and yelled upstairs Happy New Year to me. We have not slept in the same bed for over a year! The next day he tells me that he's going to the gym. I called him at 1 am and he tells me that he's at his friend's house. I was upset and told him to stay over there. He comes home and never comes upstairs. The next day we discuss his actions and he never apologizes. He said that he thought we are now divorced without the paperwork. He feels that he doesn't need to tell me his plans. He left on Sunday and I have been working to make his dream come true on paper!

I already started to uncouple before the holidays with a few items. However, it was a big step to contact a Family Law Attorney. I spoke with the attorney on Tuesday and she came highly recommended by a good friend. She advised me on a few items and the goal is to keep it as amicable as possible to get a legal separation and divorce. I told my husband that I have hired a mediator to help us draft a separation agreement. He seems ok with it. He asked a few questions but was more concerned about his physical needs (housing, health insurance). I am trying to avoid breaking up my family. I have proposed in the past a few times that we can co-parent in the same household ( especially since he travels for work). He doesn't want to leave our home and kids. It seems that he's ok with my decision to separate. He seemed concerned about the comforts of his living arrangements and health insurance. My goal is to start and finish the separation process and paperwork without contention. He's away for 3 months and I plan to use the time to complete the separation agreement. GID husband has become friendly via text. He will actually send text messages to check on us! I don't know if he's in denial or happy! I believe he's happy to get a divorce. That hurts but I will get to the other side. I have been able to meet with a supportive friend who recently went through a divorce. It was nice to vent and cry! I have the paperwork for the attorney and plans to review it over the weekend. Thanks for listening.

Truthfully, I probably would not pursue a divorce and allow him to live his gay life if he did not become disrespectful. I know my statement is crazy but I have bent in this marriage for a long time. I deserve better and I know I have to get out. His disrespect has become unbearable. I don't want to get caught up in his friendly attitude and don't proceed with the separation. Do you believe he has a hidden agenda?

Last edited by gwendolyn_C (January 6, 2022 10:13 pm)