so an odd thing wound me up this morning
stbx left her purse on my computer bench so i picked it up to move it and it fell open and where she has had a picture of me kissing her cheek (when we first met) she had taken it out or moved it behind another photo, anyway it wasn't where it has been for years, i know we are over and heading for divorce but this really got to me, so i emailed her at work asking if she would like me to turn our wedding photo around so she couldn't see it, she just replied not to email as her colleagues may see it, 
not sure why it wound me up so much, maybe because she "still loves me" so why be so petty? it just seemed ruthless to me

on other news i have my first/initial meeting with a solicitor next  Thursday

Gloria i am not sure i am in shock anymore, i'm a pragmatist and stbx moving out means we get personally poorer, i floated the idea as a way to cohabit and keep the family unit together but stbx was not happy about the idea, i still think she is teritorrial over me (of which she no longer has a right to be) and would struggle as much as me if i were going out to meet with another women, obviously in her eyes she is doing nothing wrong as she is just making "friends" not cedeing the point that the friends she is making are the same sex as the attraction she now has.

Last edited by jamieblunt (November 4, 2021 10:07 am)

good point stbx took her ring off months ago, saying her fingers had swollen and it was too tight, i took it at face value now i wonder, i'm really not trying to gaslight myself into thinking everything she does is an attack on me but its flipping hard not to.
i woke up angry today as i am off for a movie night with a friend (we do it once every three or so months)
and she hijacked my night away so i had to get the parents involved to look after my daughter, she told me that it was out with her work colleagues to a firework display, knowing that i would say yes as i want her to make new friends, i found out last week it was with her new lesbian group, so this morning i gave her both barrels of how she manipulated me and why a grown women was going to a firework display without her daughter (daughter would not want to go with me so no point asking, i almost had to kidnap her to go bowling last week even though after the fact she loved it and wants to go again with me)

i told her if becoming a lesbian makes you manipulative and duplicitous then i want no part of her new life and if she likes we can start divorce proceedings asap, told her i don't hate her for becoming a lesbian but everything around it in her behaviour is so sneaky and mean spirited its turning her into not a nice person and she really isnt a bad person.

anyhow now resolved to split the bank accounts before xmas so only family stuff is coming out of the joint account, we bought a new car for her last year and i am gifting that plus the savings we have for the final lump sum but she can take on the monthly payments and organising it all as a start on her new life journey and having to manager her own finances.

It's not necessarily an attack, but we are inconvenient truths. And yes, that was manipulative of her, and revealing of her current priorities.

Thanks Abby good point, i will be sure to contact the credit company and see if i can change the name mid contract

So sorry that you went through this. Your son does need to know that his mother is a lesbian. She needs to tell him but if she doesn't, I would tell him.