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November 5, 2021 2:57 pm  #11


Re: WHAT DO I DO

Also, remember this: it's YOUR home.  It's your house.  You should not be afraid of opening a drawer or cabinet in your own house.  Your house should be a sanctuary, not a prison.


Relinquere fraudator, vitam lucrari.
 

November 5, 2021 4:16 pm  #12


Re: WHAT DO I DO

walkbymyself wrote:

Also, remember this: it's YOUR home.  It's your house.  You should not be afraid of opening a drawer or cabinet in your own house.  Your house should be a sanctuary, not a prison.

I’m Also sorry that you went through this
When should I confront him my baby is due in four months I don’t know if I should wait until then Or  do it now

     Thread Starter
 

November 5, 2021 4:41 pm  #13


Re: WHAT DO I DO

I strongly recommend not confronting him now. You need to build a support system for yourself and that will take time
.
Start looking for an attorney so you understand custody, support and divorce laws where you live. Later in the pregnancy parents usually go to birthing classes together. If his presence would be be stressful for you rather than supportive you may want to discuss this with your doctor and/or midwife now, They may also be able to provide information on counselors who can provide a confidential place to work through your feelings and plans.

All the focus now must be on your health and the delivery of a full-term, healthy baby. Trust and love yourself.  


Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
 

November 5, 2021 5:04 pm  #14


Re: WHAT DO I DO

I would want to confront now out of anger. I don't blame you. Think if it may backfire.  Is he the type to punish you through verbal, emotional and/or financial abuse if stood up to? 

If this were me, I'd consult a family law attorney as my first step. Know your legal and financial rights rights. That will help you decide your best plan of action for $$  support and if you can afford to leave.

Would you be safe if you stayed put and emotionally distanced yourself until the baby is born? If so, tell him your pregnancy is making you tired, feel ill. Tell him anything believable to keep away from him as much as possible. 

It's tempting to keep looking for proof but not if you make yourself sick with worry. You have enough proof that he's a cheater, dishonest  and not straight. 

Lastly, do you have an older family member you can call for support?  Could you consult a clergy member of a religion you were raised in but no longer believe in? (I think they would care about your predicament a lot & help.)  Would your GIDH pay for counseling to help you through a "difficult" pregnancy? Support is crucial to get you through this tough time.

Good luck with deciding what is best for you, child and soon to be there child.


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

November 5, 2021 11:33 pm  #15


Re: WHAT DO I DO

Abby wrote:

I strongly recommend not confronting him now. You need to build a support system for yourself and that will take time
.
Start looking for an attorney so you understand custody, support and divorce laws where you live. Later in the pregnancy parents usually go to birthing classes together. If his presence would be be stressful for you rather than supportive you may want to discuss this with your doctor and/or midwife now, They may also be able to provide information on counselors who can provide a confidential place to work through your feelings and plans.

All the focus now must be on your health and the delivery of a full-term, healthy baby. Trust and love yourself.  

Thank you

I am gonna wait to confront him.


He is not going with me to deliver the baby I’m having my mom this time.

     Thread Starter
 

November 5, 2021 11:35 pm  #16


Re: WHAT DO I DO

MJM017 wrote:

I would want to confront now out of anger. I don't blame you. Think if it may backfire.  Is he the type to punish you through verbal, emotional and/or financial abuse if stood up to? 

If this were me, I'd consult a family law attorney as my first step. Know your legal and financial rights rights. That will help you decide your best plan of action for $$  support and if you can afford to leave.

Would you be safe if you stayed put and emotionally distanced yourself until the baby is born? If so, tell him your pregnancy is making you tired, feel ill. Tell him anything believable to keep away from him as much as possible. 

It's tempting to keep looking for proof but not if you make yourself sick with worry. You have enough proof that he's a cheater, dishonest  and not straight. 

Lastly, do you have an older family member you can call for support?  Could you consult a clergy member of a religion you were raised in but no longer believe in? (I think they would care about your predicament a lot & help.)  Would your GIDH pay for counseling to help you through a "difficult" pregnancy? Support is crucial to get you through this tough time.

Good luck with deciding what is best for you, child and soon to be there child.

I don’t need anymore proof than what I got sadly I am gonna wait as long as possible but also plan everything

Thank u ☺️ ❤️

     Thread Starter
 

November 5, 2021 11:36 pm  #17


Re: WHAT DO I DO

MJM017 wrote:

I would want to confront now out of anger. I don't blame you. Think if it may backfire.  Is he the type to punish you through verbal, emotional and/or financial abuse if stood up to? 

If this were me, I'd consult a family law attorney as my first step. Know your legal and financial rights rights. That will help you decide your best plan of action for $$  support and if you can afford to leave.

Would you be safe if you stayed put and emotionally distanced yourself until the baby is born? If so, tell him your pregnancy is making you tired, feel ill. Tell him anything believable to keep away from him as much as possible. 

It's tempting to keep looking for proof but not if you make yourself sick with worry. You have enough proof that he's a cheater, dishonest  and not straight. 

Lastly, do you have an older family member you can call for support?  Could you consult a clergy member of a religion you were raised in but no longer believe in? (I think they would care about your predicament a lot & help.)  Would your GIDH pay for counseling to help you through a "difficult" pregnancy? Support is crucial to get you through this tough time.

Good luck with deciding what is best for you, child and soon to be there child.

I don’t have anyone to really go to talk to

     Thread Starter
 

November 6, 2021 1:07 am  #18


Re: WHAT DO I DO

Helpme25 wrote:

.. I don’t have anyone to really go to talk to

What about talking to your mother?
 
 


KIA KAHA                       
 

November 6, 2021 2:37 am  #19


Re: WHAT DO I DO

Ellexoh_nz wrote:

Helpme25 wrote:

.. I don’t have anyone to really go to talk to

What about talking to your mother?
 
 

I could. But it won’t be much of a help

     Thread Starter
 

November 6, 2021 4:02 am  #20


Re: WHAT DO I DO

Helpme25 wrote:

.. I could. But it won’t be much of a help

 
How come?  Would she not understand and support you?


KIA KAHA                       
 

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