The possible New York Times Op-Ed piece on MOMs nudged me to post about this. Am sure many of you have heard of straight spouse women in China (Tongqi) who use social media to voice their outrage at being duped. It's estimated 90% of gay Chinese men marry straight women.

Am hoping Joe the head of OurPath research has heard of them.  These research studies cover many of the struggles forum members face.  Could someone from OurPath reach out to these academics? I'd consider that a great bridge for communication with Tongqi and Tongfu.

Here's one out of many I googled:

https://www.semanticscholar.org/paper/I-want-to-come-forward%3A-Voices-from-Chinese-tongqi-Cheng/5988ab4837a2fc4dd72d77db350c3e2e95324edb


I want to come forward: Voices from Chinese tongqi
F. Cheng
Published 2016
Sociology
Cogent Social Sciences
Abstract This study discusses the challenges of tongqi (wives of gay men) in mainland China, and rethinks homosexual–heterosexual marriage. Over 13.6 million tongqi are victimised in mainland China as a result of the traditional ancestral-oriented family system that coerces homosexual–heterosexual marriage for lineage inheritance. Having suffered from not only being cheated on and emotionally abused, but also having their dignity jeopardised, they are unfortunately publicly neglected. Much worse, they are unwittingly at high risk for HIV/AIDS infection, which stigmatises them and results in health inequity. An existing peer support hub provides them with psychological support through virtual platforms, and strives to increase public awareness of this socially disadvantaged population. However, social, financial and cultural factors impede its development. Apart from an exploration of potential resolutions in this discussion, a debate over homosexual–heterosexual marriage has also been raised.

Wikipedia has an entry:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tongqi

Very few of the women who enter into these marriages are aware that their spouses are gay.[4] Many women have turned to social media because it allows them to maintain anonymity while expressing their feelings about being married to gay men. The majority of these women worry more about the social stigma of being divorced in Chinese society than they do about being in a loveless marriage. For the men, the shame of being stigmatized as homosexual causes them to enter these marriages in the first place.[5] In addition to the emotional toll of being married to a man who does not desire them physically, nearly 90% of these women suffer physical abuse and "sexual apathy" from their husbands.[6] Many women who are married to gay men in China are dependent on the men for financial survival. Even with a divorce, they can be left with social and financial hardships.[7] Only 31.2% of tongqi marriages end in divorce, according to a recent survey.[6] Divorce laws in China do not allow women to seek a dissolution of marriage from their husbands if they are gay.[5]

I found one article about tongfu, men who are tricked into marrying lesbians. There's less shame for them to divorce and remarry.  Warning: it's a long article.

https://foreignpolicy.com/2016/04/13/chinese-netizens-support-same-sex-marriage-because-straight-women-china-equality-gay-lgbt/

Last edited by MJM017 (October 28, 2021 11:05 pm)