OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+.


For more information about our recent name change, please read our press release or visit our website at https://www.ourpath.org.


BE A DONOR >>>

You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



September 10, 2021 4:02 pm  #1


Change is hard – The new OurPath name and other things

Well… It finally happened… The new website and a new name.  I would STRONGLY encourage everyone to listen to the OurPath podcast S4 EP1: ‘Welcome to OurPath’ for a great discussion on the name change, the new logo, the new website etc. The podcasts are here: https://ourpath.org/podcast/  The podcast explains well why the words ‘straight’ and ‘spouse’ are problematic going forward. A lot of us are very protective of the word ‘straight’ and I can understand the bit of pushback I am seeing about it being dropped from the organization’s name. After listening to the podcast I can see the challenge presented by the ‘straight pride’ movement but I also think that we should not engage in ‘straight shame’. I’m glad the word ‘straight’ still appears in the tag line under the logo.

I’m pretty sure the name ‘OurPath’ will grow on me. I freakin’ loved the explanation of the logo. ‘A labyrinth is a path that is always taking you to the center even when you feel like you are going farther away from it.’

This Open Forum has also been brought into the OurPath website which is awesome. I only have one concern. I was active on the Open Forum for many years (not so much lately) and I KNOW that the forum is not always ‘politically correct’.  People arrive here angry and hurt.  Often in their pain and anger they lash out at their LGBTQI+ partners and the LGBTQI+ community generally.  It’s not always fair and it’s not always right but it happens quite frequently.  I pray to God that OurPath continues to embrace and love angry and hurt people and doesn’t try to censor the open forum because honestly, I think you will kill this forum if it is not a ‘safe place’ for straight spouses to express themselves and get help. If it's not there already I suggest that OurPath puts a disclaimer on the Open Forum saying that it does not necessarily endorse the views expressed here. I'm terrified to be honest that the forum will be 'sanitized'. 

Anyway… Congratulations to everyone involved in the re-branding. I hope it goes well.


You have a future. A good one. It begins as a flicker of hope. Nurture it until it becomes a dream and when you are strong enough you will make it a reality. NEVER give up. 
 

September 11, 2021 2:48 pm  #2


Re: Change is hard – The new OurPath name and other things

Thanks for pointing out the podcast. It inspired me to change my username to CaliforniaClosets. (Just kidding!)

https://www.californiaclosets.com/

I tend to self-censor due to being in a gay-friendly city and living among network engineers who can hack into my wifi.    Strange times....

The admins do a great job letting posters express anger while deleting hateful messages which benefit no one. We never know what the future political climate will be though. You make a good point about being mindful to continue our present level of support.


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

September 12, 2021 8:17 am  #3


Re: Change is hard – The new OurPath name and other things

Steve wrote:

If it's not there already I suggest that OurPath puts a disclaimer on the Open Forum saying that it does not necessarily endorse the views expressed here. I'm terrified to be honest that the forum will be 'sanitized'. 

Disclaimer is there, second bullet under the welcome message.

We have no plans to change moderation policy. 

 

September 12, 2021 3:29 pm  #4


Re: Change is hard – The new OurPath name and other things

Sam (Admin) wrote:

Disclaimer is there, second bullet under the welcome message.

We have no plans to change moderation policy. 

Great news.  Thanks Sam, and thanks for your many, many years of service to Straight Spouses


You have a future. A good one. It begins as a flicker of hope. Nurture it until it becomes a dream and when you are strong enough you will make it a reality. NEVER give up. 
     Thread Starter
 

September 12, 2021 3:58 pm  #5


Re: Change is hard – The new OurPath name and other things

When I found SSN it took me a long time to find my place here, the website being American, me living in another country and having to get used to a different 'people'....language and points of view...it took a while to understand that I wasn't understood sometimes lol.
I persevered and I'm still here because I know I can take the pieces of info and advice that are relevant to me and not think I have to assimilate it all.

The Ourpath change seems to be an attempt to include everybody who needs to be included without stepping on anybody's toes but the line "Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People" puzzles me. Aren't the partners of transgenders straight too? 

 As I'm typing this I'm listening to the first Voices podcast re the marital status and how many aren't legally married, Was this a factor in not using the term "spouse" anymore? I hope the website, in the attempt to include us all, doesn't 'dilute' who we are. I am straight. My partner isn't. We're not married. But I've never felt I didn't belong here because it was the Straightspouse Network.

​Change is good. OurPath will be my path for as long as I walk it

Elle

 


KIA KAHA                       
 

September 12, 2021 4:48 pm  #6


Re: Change is hard – The new OurPath name and other things

Me too.

Being in Australia. No local support. Pre all the Facebook support groups (wasn’t even on Facebook at the time) this forum was EVERYTHING.

OMG We laughed. We cried. We raged. But it’s the laughter I remember most.

I love my familee.


You have a future. A good one. It begins as a flicker of hope. Nurture it until it becomes a dream and when you are strong enough you will make it a reality. NEVER give up. 
     Thread Starter
 

September 12, 2021 4:49 pm  #7


Re: Change is hard – The new OurPath name and other things

Ellexoh_nz "[color=#000000 wrote:

Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People" [/color] 

 I have a problem with that wording as well and have brought it up. I know where it came from, Trans partners felt left out, but I think the wording needs some work. Stay tuned.

 

September 12, 2021 4:50 pm  #8


Re: Change is hard – The new OurPath name and other things

Steve wrote:

Sam (Admin) wrote:

Disclaimer is there, second bullet under the welcome message.

We have no plans to change moderation policy. 

Great news.  Thanks Sam, and thanks for your many, many years of service to Straight Spouses

Sam, thanks to you too! I was a moderator for a Yahoo! Groups forum long ago. It's a lot of hard work.

I searched for a group like this one twice in 2017. I found sites about women whose husbands came out in the 1980s.  I gave up. I searched again  in 2019 and found SSN.

I went directly to the forum and didn't read the fine print under the logo. The forum had the good stuff.

I guess people read those things.  I would suggest rewording the title of the First Aid Kit -   We support those who discover their partner is LGBTQ+.

Last edited by MJM017 (September 12, 2021 4:51 pm)


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

September 12, 2021 5:02 pm  #9


Re: Change is hard – The new OurPath name and other things

I like the new name and logo. It puts the focus on understanding and validating ourselves.When I first made contact with the Straight Spouse Network (before there was a forum) my life revolved around my spouse and what he wanted. Once he announced he was gay and wanted a divorce I was driving myself crazy trying to figure out what I could do (give up) to get him to stay. SSN brought the focus back to my value as a person.

Our circumstances, options and choices will be different but they need to be ours. As our partners pursue their "true selves" we need to look deep and find ours.


Try Gardening. It'll keep you grounded.
 

September 13, 2021 2:34 am  #10


Re: Change is hard – The new OurPath name and other things

My favorite memory from the old Voy Forum was that there was a woman there who would tell us boys that she lived on a small farm and would drive a tractor in a bikini top.

Do you think it’s fair to tell a room full of sex-starved straight men that you’re driving a tractor in a bikini top?  She knew exactly what she was doing.

Still makes me laugh out loud thinking about the boys trying to determine the exact location of said farm. Somewhere in California :D

Also is there anyone here who remembers the name Portia?

Portia (a lesbian) caused holy hell in the forum for months.

It was like the Wild West in here. Great times

Last edited by Steve (September 13, 2021 2:43 am)


You have a future. A good one. It begins as a flicker of hope. Nurture it until it becomes a dream and when you are strong enough you will make it a reality. NEVER give up. 
     Thread Starter
 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum