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There it is in a nutshell. One partner has an agenda, the other has TURMOIL tattooed across their forehead. It is not only about sex. It’s about the outstretched hand, batted away like a spider. The eye roll and derision in place of a consoling touch. The endless lists of defects where once love letters were exchanged. Veins that run with cortisol, where once scarlet passion flowed so freely.
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Every man’s soul is fuelled by pure emotion Bobsuruncle. My own as your one surely is.
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OG,
So I read your story and I can't but think the counting of the days is very negative emotionally...you're not wrong and it is super accurate...but just not sure how helpful it is.
Like I know the exact millisecond my GX stopped touching me. She went away with her girlfriend and when she came back I asked her what they did all time and could feel the lie she said..physically feel in my bones the lie.
After that is was a sudden withdrawl of all physical contact..she suddenly did not like to be touched in anyway. It was actually ridiculous.."please don't even hug me..I will not come near you either..oh but I'm not having an affair".
My heart goes out to you and anyone rejected in this way. It is evil and cruel. That these spouses think it's ok and normal makes them not just gay but sick...morally sick.
Last edited by Rob (August 18, 2021 5:27 pm)
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Walk,
Your reply here made me cry.
Yours and everyone's fidelity and loyalty to their spouses really shows the quality of people we are. It's the difference between us and them.
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Perhaps it is the loneliness of the prison that causes the inmate to count off the days.
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Rob, I keep thinking I should write my story and post it. I'm just wondering if the pain of going back to it all would overwhelm me.
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Walk,,
My story is littered among the forum. But I will not post it as its not who I am..it is something that happened to me. But I'm so much more than what happened.
I can't help but think my GX thought something similar to what you wrote about knowing. We had a closeted gay friend from school who she had contacted..I read their correspondence and it seemed like they thought I was stupid and should have kmown she had same sex attraction. No I didn't, I took her at her word and marriage vows.
No need to write your story out unless it helps..you should only have to go through it once.
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Rob wrote:
Walk,
Your reply here made me cry.
Yours and everyone's fidelity and loyalty to their spouses really shows the quality of people we are. It's the difference between us and them.
Me too, walk. Unfathomable cruelty.
We were doing what we promised, they weren't. Hold your head up high.