It is a natural state to be in walkbymyself. It is good that you can use this platform to find the understanding you seek from people who actually “get it”. As far as trusting others and looking forward, I think that we should just acknowledge our feelings as our emotional firewall doing its job. Maybe in time, our firewalls will accept another into our lives.

There is one fundamental reason why we did not see it. We weren’t looking for it.

 I have posted before in regard to the similarities between mixed orientation couples and neuro-diverse couples. The masks are worn for different reasons, but the psychological effects are exactly the same. It becomes emotionally exhausting to maintain the false self and the mask will slip more and more as time goes on.

I knew several married men in real life who I had no doubt were 100% gay. I never told the wives … one wife ended up telling me a few years later that he was gay and he basically ran off and abandoned the family. So far only one of the two have proved to be true. I’m still waiting on the second one, but I sure hope I’m wrong.

Tangled

Last edited by TangledOil (August 17, 2021 8:50 pm)

lily, I'm far more cynical about the bi-women thing.  I think guys who deliberately avoid thinking in the long-term get into the idea that they're going to have lots of kinky three-way sex with a bi girlfriend and all her friends.

I don't have much empathy to waste on people who try to use other people.  I'm angered by people deluding themselves that they're justified in luring an unsuspecting person into a monogamous allegedly straight marriage, and then springing the ugly surprise on them after their lives and finances and families are so entangled there's a price to be paid for a straight spouses to extract themselves.

OG, I'm hiding behind the sofa too!

walkby, if a man is thinking like that he's just gone to the wrong place hasn't he, not a woman to desire him in sight!!

OG  up til now the price has kept on growing but now you know where you are.  This is a huge accomplishment in itself and good things can come of it.

I can relate to this post.  My distrust for people is huge. I look at all men and think they’re a closeted gay guy. Im working on divorce but can’t imagine dating again. I was played and I don’t feel that I could ever give of myself again. No children, under sixty and soon to be a divorced woman who is going to live my life with myself out of fear.  Save some room behind the couch for me.