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Meds, prescribed and not the self-medicated type, are just a bit of extra armour during a rough spot. Nothing to ashamed of.
Recently I came across this video of a poem by JB Barrington. I thought it said a lot.
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I am so sorry you are going through this. I can't entirely relate to your situation but you are definitely not alone. Please know that you can reach out any time. Even if you just need to vent. No judgements.