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July 5, 2021 5:19 pm  #1


Random question

Do you guys find yourself in the same position...

Any time I argue with my husband, whether it’s over the dishes not being done or whatever it is, any random topic, however mundane, I find my response is exaggerated because there is an underlying issue of anger with the bigger issue  in our Marriage that brings me to this site.

Can Any one else relate?

 

July 5, 2021 8:24 pm  #2


Re: Random question

Treelovingvegan wrote:

.....Any time I argue with my husband,, ....I find my response is exaggerated because there is an underlying issue of anger with the bigger issue in our Marriage that brings me to this site.
Can Any one else relate?

I used to have that exaggerated response. Flying off the handle! Even I could see I was way over the top. It's all very well to have an onlooker say "woah..settle down" but most onlookers, even family & friends..probably wouldn't mention it so as not to offend and if they know our backstory...may be very hesitant to intrude. 
So TLV...we work on ourselves right?. I did and you seem self-aware enough to see the link so I hope you can smooth out your responses to these times when you're triggered. I had to learn to be present in the moment these times happened, and consciously hold back
I can say though it takes a bucketload of self-control but once you have it under control you'll feel better. About yourself and your own ability

Elle
 


KIA KAHA                       
 

July 6, 2021 4:45 pm  #3


Re: Random question

Yes.  In my former marriage, the relationship dynamics were completely off because of the MOM.  It was not healthy for either of us, and I'm forever grateful that I'm out.

 

July 11, 2021 2:25 pm  #4


Re: Random question

I had to think about this one a bit because I was under duress for most of my marriage.

I seemingly overreacted a few times when we were engaged. I yelled at him for being really late a few times. I remember the start of feeling uncomfortable attending street festivals and concerts with him. I'm not a yeller and I liked festivals and concerts before I met him.

The only thing I can think of is he pulled me with him through the crowds to talk to others - men and women. He seemed truly overjoyed to do that. Never quite like that with me.


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 
 

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