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- YesThisIsFaith
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Re: Husband came out as trans 5 days ago.
Zenobia - I did a lot of self-help boundary work a couple of years ago which has helped me in that way. I used to be codependent and enmeshed. I definitely do not want to suffer for years. I am angry, too. I wildly swing back and forth from sad to angry, mostly at night. During the day I can keep it together and distance myself emotionally. I’m so sorry that you have to make those decisions. Eventually I may have to ask my husband to go live with his parents, but I feel that once I do that it will really be over and that’s extremely painful.
Last edited by YesThisIsFaith (June 17, 2021 12:35 pm)
- suzuki b
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Re: Husband came out as trans 5 days ago.
Dear YesThisIsFaith,
I don't have any advice. I'm going through some of the same situation, but without the incredible stress of caring for a disabled child. I see that "addicted" behavior in my spouse, but I actually see it differently. I think my spouse is feeling a sense of release. Like when you're thirsty and suddenly there's a big glass of water. But none of that matters (I mean, how you see it) as far as the heartbreak. I think the others here are right to advise you to listen to your gut, which is telling you not to try to save your marriage. You will probably just be kicking the can down the road, and then it will still hurt, AND you will have invested even more time in a marriage that can't be fixed. I'm so sorry.
- jb_ibeme
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Re: Husband came out as trans 5 days ago.
Very sorry to hear you're going through this. My wife came out around a month ago as a transgender gay male. We are living paycheck to paycheck, she has major health issues/doesn't work, down to 1 car until next week, and recently filed bankruptcy (mainly to get our car back...not because of her coming out). Needless to say neither of us can go anywhere financially. She depends on me financially and our credit is shit.
Main positive is that for now she and I love each other and have very open communication and have been sharing things and likes/dislikes more than we ever have in our 15 years of marriage. Not to mention that for now she is just slightly dressing differently. We have 2 kids. One is a young teenager and the other is in middle childhood.
I have more power financially than her, but I'm not that kind of person to instigate a bitter divorce. I decided to be loving and kind as I always have been, but strict and firm in where I draw the line(s).