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June 11, 2021 10:45 pm  #11


Re: New and need support

You wouldn't be the first person here who felt they had to try something before throwing in the proverbial towel. I would probably have been the same if the option was there. It sounds like you do have your eyes wide open. I would offer one more thought. Remember that your needs are just as important as his are.


“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer
 

June 11, 2021 11:59 pm  #12


Re: New and need support

Strong girl, its a horrible time for you.  Cheating is such a huge betrayal. I would observe that his infidelity and lack of honesty is not a good sign.  Cheating is a character problem not a sexuality problem. If you both agreed to a monogamous relationship he has broken that agreement unilaterally without permission.

The most important question for you is: is this acceptable to you?  It wasn't acceptable to you in your first marriage - and now you have a child to consider so it is even more important to model your high standards and act for you and your child's future safety and wellbeing. 

You have not failed or broken anything - he has. Wishing you strength and clear sight in the weeks and months ahead. Oh - and consult a lawyer. Very important to protect your financial future.

Last edited by Soaplife (June 12, 2021 1:59 am)

 

June 12, 2021 10:02 pm  #13


Re: New and need support

Hello Everyone!  

Thanks again for the support.  Update on my situation.  Today I felt a little stronger and after more discussion with my husband I decided that he needs to get his own place and we need to begin the divorce process this next week.  He doesn't want to let go of his boyfriend.  This is not compatible with the type of relationship that I need.  I am actually feeling more and more at peace with this.  In some ways he is really making it easier by being such an a**hole.  Divorce really sucks and it will get worse but I know that it will get so much better in the long term.  I deserve better and its time to take care of myself instead of worrying about all of his nonsense.  I will keep everyone updated!

     Thread Starter
 

June 13, 2021 12:51 am  #14


Re: New and need support

Strong girl, post here as much as you need.  The way forward is tough but you have shown you can make the tough decisions.  We are with you. I hope you have or are establishing a support network - friends, family, therapist, good lawyer and/or family doctor. Best of luck.

 

June 14, 2021 8:45 pm  #15


Re: New and need support

That "little stronger" feeling grows everyday. I think somewhere in the middle, you start remembering who you used to be before the "second guessing yourself" started. I fell back into co-dependence and this is my 2nd shot at leaving it all behind. It's really empowering for me to read that you put your foot down on the first go.
You got this <3

 

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