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Rejection sucks. Do you have anybody to talk to about this... sister, brother, friend?

Elle

Just wanted to reiterate what Maria said...You have sooo much life ahead of you. I promise you that this will be but a mirage in your rearview mirror one day. Until then, you definitely need an empathetic ear...whether that's a counselor or a good friend. Some people here have had great success with trauma therapy. Journaling, meditation, and exercise help, too...Now, more than ever, you need to be kind and patient with yourself. Your heart will heal in time. 

Last edited by Julian_Stone (June 7, 2021 9:32 pm)

These changes can leave us feeling adrift so I think the goal is to find ourselves. Once we're comfortable with ourselves and our choices, we can move on to new experiences. Kudos on realizing you needed help. I hope this means you are building up a support network of friends, family, doctors, etc. (If not, please check out the 1st Aid kit post that is pinned in the General Section of this board.) Hopefully the country is about to get past the worst of the pandemic so what does that mean to you? Think about what YOU want to do this fall. Are you planning on remaining in NB? Where are your friends/family? How does your career fit into all this? Perhaps start with small goals and work towards the larger ones. It's easy to question yourself after something like this but I think it makes most of us a bit wiser and more able to participate in a new relationship. More than one person here have been able to move past this and are happily involved in new relationships. You can do this as well, just give it some time for the wounds to heal. I think the key is to become the kind of person you like to be with. Stick around, vent, ask questions, share experiences with others here, it all helps.

Last edited by Daryl (June 8, 2021 8:25 am)

erichtsf wrote:

......I was wondering if any of you could share how you started to find fulfillment in life and relationships after your experiences? How did were you able to trust again? How were you able to be sure this wouldn’t happen again?......

 

I put so much into my r'ship of 32 years that I won't trust another man not to do the same thing. So. As far as trust goes I have that covered  
As far as support goes I'm okay, in fact my partner (yes the man I won't trust with my heart ever again) and I are still together in some kind of weird I-can't-leave-until-you-do dance, because we both have our reasons for staying together. I don't know his reasons because he won't talk about it and I won't because fuck it! I used to do all the talking trying to get him to open up and I'm over it. And I have family who know what's happening for support should/when I decide to move my life away from what it is now.

This (my) situation is what you've been able to avoid by the woman you thought was yours forever coming out and admitting to you she would never be totally yours if she stayed with you. Difficult for you to understand at the moment but in time you'll be able to acknowledge it.

It took me 3 years to admit to myself our/my/his life would never be the same again. I gave him a year after that to open a conversation about it, an honest discussion without basing it on sex or the lack of it. He hasn't said a word so it's a good thing we can live together til one of us cracks. 

Erich....do you exercise? Because movement and deep-breathing are critical when your world has fallen apart

Elle




 

That's a great example from Abby - you never know...
If you think you went dating too soon, that's probably right.
I'd suggest just going out there and do things that interest you or bring you some sort of enjoyment. Find yourself.