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May 28, 2021 2:22 pm  #1

New cross dresser that is sleeping with other cross dressers

My boyfriend of 1.5 years started cross dressing July 2020 and shortly after started seeking out hookups from Grindr. I knew about the cross dressing in July but only found out yesterday that he flirts with many men via text and social media as well as having sex. We just had a baby 2 months ago. Our sex life had been amazing until I got pregnant because I felt like shit so often.

I go back and forth between angry and heartbroken. He says he wants to be with me and wants to stop cheating but I just can't think of any scenario where that's enough for him. I want him so badly to be bisexual and I am enough but I have no hope. He has nothing to fall back on so I am the only thing going well in his world.... until now, living a double life basically. He has no job and no car, he relies on me for everything. So of course he wants to stay with me, and because he's closeted he can't acknowledge the gay behaviors.

Can these 2 worlds even exist at the same time? A cross dressing bisexual man with a girlfriend and kids??


May 28, 2021 2:53 pm  #2

Re: New cross dresser that is sleeping with other cross dressers

Dear g,

Those 2 worlds can only exist if you want to continue to be used and abused and have your child grow up with the same.  You're in a very special and vulnerable time in your life, a new mom.  A normal new father's natural instinct is to care for and protect both of you.  That's not him.  Tell your parents or anyone else in your life who will provide you with the support you very much need right now.  He has shown you who he is through his actions, don't let his words manipulate you.  Hugs.

Last edited by Lynne (May 28, 2021 3:01 pm)


May 28, 2021 5:26 pm  #3

Re: New cross dresser that is sleeping with other cross dressers

What's he doing to stop the cheating? Assuming monogamy is mandatory for you, what's he going to do to prove that you can trust him again?

Then there's the much larger issue of how he intends to support his child.

Rather than ask if a bisexual can have a GF and kids, ask yourself what you want and need in a relationship to be healthy and happy. Can this person supply this?

As Lynne said, if there's anyone in your life that you can confide in, I would say you should do so.
So sorry you need to be here when your world should be all about the baby.

“The future is unwritten.”
― Joe Strummer

May 28, 2021 6:36 pm  #4

Re: New cross dresser that is sleeping with other cross dressers

Hello georgiaonmymind,

In my experience, men who cheat and don’t support their children tend to continue this behavior.  They may change if given an ultimatum. Or they agree to changes and don’t follow through.  Lean on family, friends and a counselor during this difficult time. 


No - It's not too late. It's not hopeless. Even there, there's something I can do. I just have to find the will. Ikiru (1952), film directed by Akira Kurosawa 

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