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April 19, 2021 5:02 pm  #1


Committed but Spiralling

Hi there
Am completely new to this group but am encouraged to see some positive similar situations to my own. I have been married for 21 years with 3 wonderful children and found out about 18 months ago that my husband is bisexual, or believes himself to be... It opened a floodgate of communication and honesty that had been lacking for a long while and the result is that we agreed we were committed to making our marriage work.. We do have a great relationship and I know we are both completely in love even after all this time and for the most part I feel like this can work. However, I still also feel like I’m dealing with some sort of PTSD and it’s turning me into somebody I don’t like. Whereas he has had a release, I feel bulldozed and it’s hard to think I still feel like this so far down the line.... This cycle of positive attitude and focus followed by long periods of feeling completely desolate is becoming unbearable and affecting every aspect of my life... I desperately want this to work, have tried counselling but not sure it was with the correct therapist, have confided in a couple of people which probably made me feel worse, and still feel very much alone. I want to return to my previous happy positive self as I miss her but want that to be with the man I love... Would love to hear from others who have gone through the same as it feels like a lonely road to be walking down..... Thank you x

 

April 19, 2021 6:07 pm  #2


Re: Committed but Spiralling

your current self might not be feeling so happy and positive but she needs you as much as ever.  

my suggestion is read your post as if you are hearing from your own sister - and if you have family you can talk to, talk to them.  

wishing you all the best, Lily 

 

 

April 20, 2021 11:21 am  #3


Re: Committed but Spiralling

I’m sorry you are struggling. I don’t often post here anymore other than to promote our new Reddit subreddit. I’d like to invite you to check out the sub. There are many women in the group in a similar situation to yours and mine. My husband came out as bi a year and a half ago and we are doing very well. We’ve been together 30 years.

https://www.reddit.com/r/StraightBiPartners/

Tangled

Last edited by TangledOil (April 20, 2021 11:29 am)

 

May 20, 2021 5:21 pm  #4


Re: Committed but Spiralling

"I have been married for 21 years with 3 wonderful children and found out about 18 months ago that my husband is bisexual, or believes himself to be... It opened a floodgate of communication and honesty that had been lacking for a long while"


I know it has been a while since you posted this, but I just want to send my support your way. Communication from both sides is key and so valuable. Not all of us get that, myself included. It is not easy to work through but keep your head up! Sounds like you love eachother and have something solid to work with.

 

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