So my husband and I have been together for 8 years married for 5 and have a 3 year old daughter. When I first met my husband he has a drinking problem that was replacing the drug prone he had years prior. Things seemed normal in our relationship until he got drunk one night and put on my lingerie and told me he was a fucked up person. He broke up with me soon after and then I found him on Craigslist cross dressing and looking for a man. We got back together and talked about it. He said he was with a man before me but he just figured he was bi. He still like to cross dress and so
I allowed him to do so because I wanted him
To be himself. He eventually got sober and the cross dressing stopped.  He had talked to some gay men but never acted on it. He had two affairs but with women. Once right before our one year wedding anniversary. He had a one night stand with a women he met at a bar. I forgave him and we worked through it. He promised he would never hurt me again. We went on a vacation together that summer reconnecting our love for one another and he for sober and has been sober for almost 4 years now. Fast forward to now...he just told me a month ago he had an affair with another women the summer of 2019 for a month. It was purely sexual and no feelings were involved. He ended it because he felt bad. So now we are in marriage counseling trying to fix us. Then he hits me with that he would like to be with a guy because he is confused so I agreed to open our marriage and let him explore. We both made bumble profiles to look for the same sex.now the cross dressing started back up just before we opened the marriage up. Now it has stopped since he started talking to men because it seems all the gay guys he talks to do not like the cross dressing. When I asked him about why he isn’t dressing up anymore he says he just isn’t feeling it. I know he’s lying and trying to repress that part of himself to be accepted by a man. I am bisexual too but lean more Towards men. I like playing with women but have been completely faithful to my husband. He’s been talking to a guy and they are going to meet this weekend at a hotel. I am very hurt but I know he needs to know who he is. I’m so scared that this is the end of the road for us. I can’t wrap my head around it completely. He’s one of the most important men in my life and this time last year I lost my dad to a heart attack and now I feel like I’m grieving all over again by losing another man in my life. He said we will remain best friends no matter what and continue to raise our daughter together and keep living together. I keep holding on to hope that he is just bi and that he will be running back to me in no time and want to
Fix what we have. I think I’m just in denial or being crazy because I’m still head
Over heels in love with him!