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1 of 1- angry
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Continued torture and gas lighting after divorce
In past few months completed divorce after almost 30 years with deeply closeted [and still closeted] gay husband.
I never outed him to anyone.
He is also extreme narcissist.
We have one remaining asset to divide .This asset was large part of my divorce settlement. He tortured me during the divorce and I was left with much less than him.
He now as focused on this last asset and is willing to sell it for less, about 60% of asking price.
THIS IS A LOT OF MONEY TO ME!
He is now using the legal system to torment me, including taking me back to court saying that I am not cooperating in disposal of asset.
. I can't afford an attorney and he knows it.
I even offered to buy this asset because I believe he has set up someone to buy it for a song and then resell it and make money on the deal. He refuses to sell it to me at the reduced price.
I have been above board the whole time.
I've kept his DISGUSTING secret.
I have a strong urge now to out him.
The stress of attempting remain calm and sight irreconcilable differences is so darn hard!
Why do these closeted men have to be so cruel and evil?
Im asking for prayers from ya'll as I face the court, Pro se, across the aisle from him and his evil attorney who DOES know the reason for the divorce! Who could ever defend this evil man?
How can I make it through this court date without snapping!?
It would be sooooo satisfying to out him and no longer carry the burden of that secret around.
CAN I BE SUED for outing him?
Thoughts?
- Rob
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Re: Continued torture and gas lighting after divorce
I guess people can sue for anything.. In my no-fault state for the divorce the courts do not care if you are gay, bi, purple, extraterrestrial. For defamation of character with a job or something I guess someone could sue.
Somehow I'm not sure telling his secret will help with an asset... if it means he loses his job its possible you don't get alimony.
For myself I decided I was not going to become evil like my ex... I would not out even her girlfriend who also has a family to support (my ex and her lover are both homewreckers). This kindness got me very little ...my ex was extremely cruel to me.. I can only hope that this made her not crueler yer.
Maybe just go back to court..no lawyer...tell the judge you'd like an independent appraisal of the asset...a judge may find this very reasonable. You may need to sit tight and let him sweat it out...do nothing.. It
cost him also.
You can tell him your outing him but it may backfire.. I think its best to be legally protected.. I can't imagine divorcing someone like that without a lawyer.
A warm hug and prayers for strength and peace.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight .." 2Corinthians 5:7
- Judy
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Re: Continued torture and gas lighting after divorce
Angry,
No, you cannot be sued for outing him unless you do it in a malicious way. Just state the fact that the marriage ended with his confirmation he is Gay. Don't elaborate and make any sort of snide comments. Telling someone he's Gay has nothing to do with divorce or no fault divorce which means that neither party needs to declare the reason for the divorce. Past that, at least get some legal advice from just ask,com or legal zoom. You are completely at risk and can lose an extreme amount of money or assets. You can also look into legal aid society presence in your state or city.
Mine is a heavily closeted Gay man that has attempted to bully me in the relationship but knows he's not going to get a damn thing from his attorney-wife. He's seen me in action over almost 5 decades. I haven't kept his secret. I believe in the truth after living with a liar. Good luck! Get some advice to protect yourself.
Last edited by Judy (October 11, 2016 1:02 am)
- Judy
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Re: Continued torture and gas lighting after divorce
Correct! Nobody should go through a divorce without being represented. If you can't afford an attorney, there are ways to get advice from one that won't cost so much. The term no fault means neither party has to declare the reason the marriage is ending. Most states are no fault. The revelation your spouse is a Gay isn't something anyone needs to hide as long as the revelation isn't malicious ( i.e. telling someone's employer with the intent to damage them in their job) just the fact the marriage is ending and it's because they have told you they are Gay. Leave it at that.
That's the legal advice but past that, don't ever hide any of these types out. They need to own TGT.
Rob wrote:
I guess people can sue for anything.. In my no-fault state for the divorce the courts do not care if you are gay, bi, purple, extraterrestrial. For defamation of character with a job or something I guess someone could sue.
Somehow I'm not sure telling his secret will help with an asset... if it means he loses his job its possible you don't get alimony.
For myself I decided I was not going to become evil like my ex... I would not out even her girlfriend who also has a family to support (my ex and her lover are both homewreckers). This kindness got me very little ...my ex was extremely cruel to me.. I can only hope that this made her not crueler yer.
Maybe just go back to court..no lawyer...tell the judge you'd like an independent appraisal of the asset...a judge may find this very reasonable. You may need to sit tight and let him sweat it out...do nothing.. It
cost him also.
You can tell him your outing him but it may backfire.. I think its best to be legally protected.. I can't imagine divorcing someone like that without a lawyer.
A warm hug and prayers for strength and peace.