Maya wrote:

......
I feel the same way  asking why God has allowed this to happen. I need to harness that strength  to go on .

 
I'm not religious but I do believe it wasn't  *your* god who allowed this to happen it was his.
Your god is right behind you making you strong. And you are

Elle

Maya, please keep us posted. We have a 15-20 min consultation with our counselor tomorrow but I’m so anxious to talk to her alone. I’ve mentioned before wanting to know everything but then there’s a side of me that tells me to hang on and try. I need time and I’m worried about finding something that will put me over the edge. It’s not smart of me to rush this financially etc...I’m curious what kind of advice your counselor will give you. Though every situation is different, I feel like we are in the same exact boat right now. Best of luck!!! 🍀

- Epiphany

Maya wrote:

My 14 year old son , who so is so sweet and caring , always greet me in the morning . I asked him if he pray .,, he said he has been praying daily for the last month . He told me this morning ... “mom , I’m a teen now, I can sense things . “ He told me “ mom, you’re eyes look tired... “ I haven’t really cried , maybe almost , but just teary.

This made me tear up. Kids are definitely more receptive than we give them credit for. One of my biggest regrets is letting my daughter (then 3 years old) see me in tears in those early days post-disclosure when I was so incredibly overwhelmed with emotions...Though she didn't understand what was going on (of course), she started crying, too...and we just held one another. It is so very hard going through this with kids....and worrying about the effect this will have on them now ....and in their future adult relationships. I know I would never want my mother to stay in this kind of relationship.

Julian_Stone wrote:

Maya wrote:

My 14 year old son , who so is so sweet and caring , always greet me in the morning . I asked him if he pray .,, he said he has been praying daily for the last month . He told me this morning ... “mom , I’m a teen now, I can sense things . “ He told me “ mom, you’re eyes look tired... “ I haven’t really cried , maybe almost , but just teary.

This made me tear up. Kids are definitely more receptive than we give them credit for. One of my biggest regrets is letting my daughter (then 3 years old) see me in tears in those early days post-disclosure when I was so incredibly overwhelmed with emotions...Though she didn't understand what was going on (of course), she started crying, too...and we just held one another. It is so very hard going through this with kids....and worrying about the effect this will have on them now ....and in their future adult relationships. I know I would never want my mother to stay in this kind of relationship.

Rob, when I saw the medication and the  Lab monitoring , I realized this is beyond saving . He made a choice  to follow this path of self destruction and I don’t want my kids to see this or should my kids see how their father has made decision and choosing his selfish act(?)
I am scheduled to work this Saturday and he usually drops me off on weekend . But just realized that whenever he is supposed to just drop me off  ,he goes somewhere after for a few hours to do his gay thing ...  I plan on  just taking day off without telling him till we are out of the house , so we could talk without the kids...