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December 21, 2020 1:55 am  #1


Bah Humbug

First I’d like to thank everyone on here for posting your stories. They have really helped me get through the last almost week of my life. It has definitely helped me to know I’m alone so again thank you all. Here’s my story....

The beginning of this month I got the feeling that my husband of almost 10 years was cheating. I’ve had the feeling on and off for years but lately it’s been so loud I couldn’t silence it so December 5th I went through his phone and realized he had been watching a lot of live porn of women and I also saw he had been checking out eharmony as well as various other sites. I of course thought he was cheating on me with a woman. He swore on his son whom I have raised that he wasn’t cheating on me with “ANYONE.” I didn’t believe him and I kept digging. He had an old e-mail he claimed to no longer use but I found it on his phone and when I searched it found out he was cheating with men! He had been cheating on me since at least 2016 with men he met on Craigslist or at these bookstores/porn shops. He claims it was oral preformed on him however he also said he was curious about anal but hadn’t yet done it. He has had these urges since he was in his 20’s. He has given oral in his past but not recently. I find this all hard to believe because I found a post of his from Craigslist offering “Mutual Fun” which I can’t seem to get out of my head. Oh and everything was unprotected!!! Nobody knows about any of this but me he’s always been to ashamed to tell anyone. He’s 58 and I’m his 4th wife and I’m 44 he’s my first husband. We have four children but none together. We also now have a granddaughter that lives here. He seems to be relieved that he’s got it out but I still feel like I’m on a roller coaster. We are trying to work it out. He says he doesn’t want a divorce and I don’t either except sometimes. Truthfully I don’t seem to know what I want so I told him “one day at a time”. I’m truly happy he feels better getting it out but I feel horrible!!! I’m trying so hard and I just don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to do a damn thing! Sleeping eating nothing seems easy anymore. Forgive me if this is all over the place. Thank y’all for listening and any advice. One more thing he says he’s not attracted to men at all.

Last edited by Lorelei (December 21, 2020 1:59 am)

 

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