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    December 11, 2020 8:44 pm  #1

    Sonata
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    Messed up

    I am so messed up right now.  I have been asking my husband for more sex and more reassurance.  He has been trying but now I find that I am shut down.  I just don't feel sexual.  I feel untrusting and scared and not able to open myself emotionally to him.  Try as I might, I just don't have those feelings right now.  I guess I just have to honor it and spend some time just hanging out with him and see what happens.  I think at the moment I feel peaceful about any outcome.  
    I think I feel like I just want to start all over.  Can we start all over?  We've been together 21 years?  I still feel traumatized by his affair and see it in my head....I keep feeling like his affair invalidates my marriage.  He doesn't see it that way.  He wants to remain together.  I don't want to drag him through the mud and hurt him....just have to take time, I guess.   I just wish my heart would mend.

     

    December 11, 2020 10:50 pm  #2

    Julian_Stone
    Member

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    Re: Messed up

    You don't feel sexual because your heart was broken & your trust was betrayed. That's a big deal! You did nothing wrong here. Be kind to yourself! 

     

    December 12, 2020 1:05 am  #3

    TangledOil
    Member

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    Re: Messed up

    Hi Sonata, 

    I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Are you in counseling? You’ve experienced trauma. Go easy on yourself. Your husband should be doing everything to help you through this. You do need outside help too, since he is the source of your trauma. I swear I met the diagnostic criteria for PTDS for awhile after my husband came out. 

    If you want to talk I’m available. 

    Tangled 

     

     

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