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November 26, 2020 2:03 pm  #1


Triggered

It doesn't happen too often these days. But yesterday I was cleaning ensuites and noticed his razor lying on the soap dish in the shower. He shaves his face at the basin. There's only one thing this man of habit would be shaving in the shower. For a few seconds my mind veered off towards unpleasant thoughts with a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach. 
Then......
"it doesn't matter anymore"
"he has no sexual hold over me"

 Peace


KIA KAHA                       
 

November 26, 2020 9:55 pm  #2


Re: Triggered

Shaving his chest or legs?   

Living with him you must be beset with triggers. 

Thoughts of strength and fortitude.


"For we walk by faith, not by sight .."  2Corinthians 5:7
 

November 27, 2020 10:56 am  #3


Re: Triggered

Ugh.  So sorry to hear this.  Stay in your lane.  Sending strength!  

 

November 27, 2020 12:34 pm  #4


Re: Triggered

Rob wrote:

Shaving his chest or legs? .....

I don't know Rob, I didn't ask, I didn't even mention it to him. I don't want to get back in that cycle of asking questions and him not answering them
 


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

November 27, 2020 1:52 pm  #5


Re: Triggered

Leah wrote:

Ugh.  So sorry to hear this.  Stay in your lane.  Sending strength!  

 

Thanks Leah It seems this week is my week for triggers. An online friend who I was lucky to meet a couple of months ago...told me her son was in a play and it had two shows in my new city, and I should go. I thought why not! When I learned the play was about 2 gay men, with one of them questioning his monogamous r'ship and his need for 
'something else'....well I wasn't going to take my bi possibly gay in denial partner was I? I invited my daughter to join me, we walked into the small theatre's pre-performance drinks area....full of LGBTQ'ers.
Now...LGBTQ'ers are people after alI, just like me, and so I treated it as if we were all the same and walked in and took the 2 remaining seats in the front row....

Gotta log off. I will finish this later 
*Okay....we're in this cosy theatre, front row on the same level as the stage so it's like being in the same room. There are 3 actors, all gay (yes it wasn't til after my friend suggested I go see her actor son in this play that she told me he was gay).The synopsis of the play was 2 gay, married men with one of them questioning their choice of monogamy, and the 3rd man was the bit on the side. 
The fact you could swap one of the men for a woman wasn't lost on me as I sat watching.The audience laughed at things that I, as a straightspouse would never laugh at. Many of the audience were gay, and I felt like a fish out of water. It was all quite disconcerting and I'm still processing it all in my mind

Elle




 

Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (November 27, 2020 9:56 pm)


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

November 28, 2020 11:49 am  #6


Re: Triggered

Elle,

Sorry you’ve been through so much this week. I don’t think I could have stayed through the play. I don’t have anything against gays, of course, but after all I/we’ve been through, seeing a play about gays questioning monogamy when we want it so badly ourselves, it had to be hard..... not to mention ‘feeling like a fish out of water’. I can just feel what it was like. 🤗. 
How did your daughter like or take it? just curious.

Hope you have a better week.

Susanne

Last edited by SusanneH (November 28, 2020 11:49 am)

 

November 28, 2020 12:54 pm  #7


Re: Triggered

SusanneH wrote:

 
How did your daughter like or take it? just curious.
Susanne

 
My girl has a very quiet nature. Laughed at some of the parts in the play I didn't.
I wish now I'd asked her, talked to her.

Elle


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

November 29, 2020 11:12 am  #8


Re: Triggered

WOW that’s a tough play to sit through with your daughter.  I remember you are still keeping quiet for him...extra tough.  <<<hugs>>>>
 

 

March 26, 2023 3:16 pm  #9


Re: Triggered

Last weekend New Zealand had a visit from Kellie-Jay Keen-Minshull . She has a tour promoting women's rights and the right to not have transgender men in women's spaces. Her protests in Australia were attended by black-clad men & nazi salutes (who weren't invited but turn up at any chance to be visible I suppose) has whipped up discussion and more protest against a women's right to speak. Keen-Minshull's rallies are called "Let Women Speak" but her rally here in Auckland was shouted down/pushed out/over-run by a swarm of transgender supporters who were loud, belligerent and at times just nasty. Her rally in Wellington was cancelled but they held a "celebration" anyway. Fucking rainbows

I had nothing against transgenders....but I don't think they belong in my women's spaces either and this flood of hate for a woman who wants to let other women speak about their own opinions just appalled me. Social media here is pumping with how wonderful it was to see so many out in support of the trans community. I've only seen a handful of people actually saying "...hey wait a minute...shouting down a woman is not okay" "throwing tomato soup (wtf!) over Kellie-Jay is not okay"

Triggered but glad I have a place to vent

 


KIA KAHA                       
     Thread Starter
 

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