Oops, above Daryl's post, I meant "Sad Wife", not "Lost Wife".  Sorry, I had just read LostDad's post.

I am not sure i can see the other side.  I am so sad, I can't believe he has done this.  He told me last night that he was leaving at the end of the month and while I was at work packed his clothes to stay "at a friends" house.  I screamed, you just told your kids you were leaving at the end of the month.  Once again he blamed me... "I thought it would be easier for you if I left sooner".  "You are so upset".  I don't know how he keeps twisting it to be my fault.  It has only been 24 hours and I am picking apart every part of our relationship.  I don't know what was real and what wasn't.  Was any of the love we shared real?  
I am not sure how to protect my children.  My 17 year old son is very quiet and holds his feeling in.  He came in tonight and just hugged me.  I don't want them hurting.  We had a great marriage (I mean I thought we did) we never fought or belittled each other.  Our kids saw our love and were proud of it.  I don't want them to question what is real or not.  
I don't know what I am supposed to feel, I am just numb at the moment.  My daughter at college wants to come home and I want nothing more than to hold her, but I put on a mask for her and make her believe I am ok, she should stay and come home on the weekend....  How do I go to work and act normal.  I am ashamed to tell anyone.  

That's a good idea to take time off if possible. There are thing that you will need to do to protect yourself physically and financially and it can be hard to fit them in otherwise.

Do not take his word that he has not been sexually active with someone else. Make an appointment to be tested for all sexually transmitted diseases and for a general physical so you can be healthy as you go through this.

If he has any credit cards that are based on your application and credit, contact the companies to stop him from being able to use the card he has on that account.

If there are joint bank accounts and he has not already taken all the money out, do so yourself and set up accounts in your name only so you have funds to pay the bills. Keep records to show where the money went and was spent.

If your pay is directly deposited be sure to get that switched to the account in your name only and if there are payments automatically deducted from the joint account that are your responsibility, ditto on those.

If you are in the U.S. you may not need an attorney to file for child support for your 17 year old. Call the Domestic Relations Office at your local courthouse for information on your state's procedures.

Gather all your financial information and make an appointment with an attorney who regularly handles divorces to find out what your rights are. If you are not comfortable with that attorney interview another.

Don't blame yourself: your love was true and if his wasn't the bad's on him.

Sad mom, jk, all,

Yeah they just turn on you. This I believe is called "the discard".

While it is sudden and shocking..I felt it in my bones first..her emotional needs were replaced by her girlfriend..then her physical needs. Then like a light switch she was like don't come near me..I don't need you for anything (but please pay for my sex toys and  hotel rooms).
Any objections to this treatment was met with rage....

Back on topic...the rules are we need to learn to detach and lose dependency and codependency with them.  This, because they are lightyears ahead of being attached or dependent on us for affection or emotional needs.  They do not want to help us anymore...if we were bleeding on the street I question if they would be concerned.  You can see this is with them taking care of only themselves for a hurricane coming..how evil and inhumane is that. 
It is hard for me even now...things she used to do I have to do now.  And when the crushing loneliness hits me I realize I cannot call her..she is not my friend. If she was she wouldn't have done what she did.  Unless you have a somewhat moral ex/cheating spouse the rule is no contact.  Contact opens one up to more hurt, pain, gaslighting, rage.

The rules are crazy and not normal.  But that's what our spouses created.