This is tough stuff.  A lot of our gay spouses begin to confront their buried sexuality in the context of a same-sex affair.  My ex-wife was a nightmare to live with the year before D-Day -- secret trips with the ex-girlfriend, emergency patient calls at the hospital (she's a doctor) that were actually booty calls, etc.  Wreckless behavior (mostly drinking) that you would not believe.

If your husband is financially supporting a boyfriend, ask your attorney whether you can pursue "marital waste", i.e., marital funds being spent on a non-marital purpose.  You should be able to obtain full access to all of his financial records while the divorce is pending to unscramble what he's been doing.

Good luck.

Blue Bear - Thanks so much for the advice on "marital waste." She's looking into a few things but I'll shoot her an email on this specifically. I believe something is going on with money somewhere. I was in charge of the money before he left a few weeks ago, so I know he wasn't funneling anything out of the bank accounts. But, he makes over 120,000.00 a year and is acting like he's poor (70% of the household income). Makes me think the guy he's with is pressuring him to get everything he can in the divorce. Unfortunately, I'm in a community property state (how unfair is that by the way). I make less than half of what he does, I have chronic pain issues, can't even afford all my rehab on my own (not to mention 600.00 a month for mental therapy since he came out). But he can walk away with half the house. It's just unbearably cruel. 
Thanks again for the advice. 

MelanieElizabeth
Just remember hes entitled to half the house..hes also entitled to half the debt.

Last edited by Rob (October 23, 2020 7:08 pm)

Thanks so much Leslie for the advice. I'll check into all these and talk to my lawyer.