OurPath Open Forum
This forum is for discussion of issues related to Mixed Orientation relationships only, that is when one partner is heterosexual (straight) and one is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning.
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- Chalizbet
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Re: What do I do now?
Tangled - see below for links to Reddit:
[color=inherit][/color] Community description: This group is to give a little help to those of us who are married and bisexual or bi-curious ... including the spouses of those who are married and bisexual. All are welcome here. The married and bi subreddit has more bisexuals than partners of bisexuals but it is interesting to get a deeper insight into their perspective and see that although every situation/relationship differs, there are common themes for all of us.
Community description: A space for bisexuals and their long-term partners to support each other in monogamy and ethical non-monogamy. The queerly beloved subreddit isn’t used very much, but the main chat of this sub is, and I found it very useful at the beginning of my journey.It's a smaller space where I felt free to ask for advice and just talk with similar people about daily struggles/triumphs and everything in between without judgment. You’ll need to request access to this one via desktop as it’s a safe space and so the mods vet all new members.
Figstrong and Blindone - I hope you are doing as well as can be expected in such a difficult and unfair situation, I know you will both find your own way in all of this, and no matter what, make sure your own happiness is a top priority and eventually everything else will itself work out in the end.
- Julian_Stone
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Re: What do I do now?
So nice to hear you are doing well, Chalizbet! You seem like a very caring & thoughtful person—and your partner seems more empathetic and honest than most we hear about in here. My husband and I are still together, too....(together close to 10 years; bi bomb came during year 9 on his 35th birthday). The dishonesty really eat away at me at times, but I'm trying to make it work [while keeping my guard up ;) ]
I've also discovered the Married and Bi subreddit...but haven't found it a great resource for me, personally..Many of the posts are from bi men struggling with monogamy (which just feeds my paranoia)...I was actually banned from posting after responding to a man who was cheating on his unknowing pregnant wife with multiple men (the admin flagged my response as "shaming"). 
Still, I check it out from time to time to get insights from "the other side." Though, with the nature of it being the Internet, I understand that the happy monogamous types probably wouldn't find a need to be posting online.
The "straight wife" blog was really helpful to me during those early days (www.thestraightwife.com)...Even though the outcome wasn't great (they opened up their marriage and are now getting a divorce)—the humor provided some much-needed light during that very dark time.
I'll check out the other community you suggested.
Thanks again for checking back in! I hope you stop back in from time to time.
Warm wishes,
J <3
- SusanneH
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Re: What do I do now?
Hi,
Thanks for the links, Chalizbet! I went to the married and bi, joined, and am able to get around the site......except the married and bi. I can’t get past the “are you 18?” It keeps looping back to that page . Any suggestions?
Thanks 😊
- Ellexoh_nz
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Re: What do I do now?
I clicked on this link and the first thing I saw was this
"""You must be 18+ to view this community. You must be at least eighteen years old to view this content. Are you over eighteen and willing to see adult content?"""""
I'm trying to get away from the sexual narrative of the LGBTQ'ers
and I certainly don't need to be engulfed in an online room full of it
Elle
Last edited by Ellexoh_nz (October 19, 2020 2:20 pm)
KIA KAHA
- Julian_Stone
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Re: What do I do now?
There's not a whole lot of sexual content in the Married and Bi community...and the moderators are pretty quick to remove the random dick pics and hookup solicitations that pop up...but I did want to warn others that there's not a big straight spouse presence in that forum...and some of the conversations may be "triggering" (for lack of a better word).
Last edited by Julian_Stone (October 21, 2020 3:39 pm)
- Blue Bear
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Re: What do I do now?
When our non-straight spouses radically change the rules of our relationships by proclaiming their non-straight orientation, we have to examine whether that proclamation fits within the personal boundaries we set at the beginning of the relationship, namely:
1. Would we have invested our time and energy into a relationship with someone who isn't straight?
2. Do we want a non-monogamous relationship?
3. Do we want a relationship with someone who doesn't have complete integrity and honesty?
4. Are we ok with our partner lusting after someone else, much less, someone of their same sex?
Our non-straight spouses often trample over our boundaries and try to convince us that it's ok for them to do so. But here's the truth: it's not ok. Boundaries exist for a reason, namely, to make the life choices that keep us happy and secure in our lives and interactions with others. The "gay" bomb often shatters these boundaries.
You deserve someone who respects your boundaries as much as you respect theirs. Good luck, and keep writing.