OurPath Open Forum

This Open Forum is funded and administered by OurPath, Inc., (formerly the Straight Spouse Network). OurPath is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit that provides support to Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People who have discovered that their partner is LGBT+. Your contribution, no matter how small, helps us provide our community with this space for discussion and connection.


You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?

September 2, 2020 7:30 am  #1

Barbe Bleue

We have been married 44 years.  My husband sat down beside me in May 2019, and claiming to fear for my health, explained to me that twelve years into our marriage he had started having sex with other persons, now been faithful for about twelve years though he remained addicted to trans porno until three years ago when he became sober. Those other persons he had been having sex with were  women,  men but it was when he started having sex in 1988 with trans women that he really found what he most likes. I had read headlines on gender identity, so I asked him what was his sexual orientation, in his sexiest, most proud and convincing voice he answered "I am heterosexual".  He had come out of the cake.  He was also suffering from a major depression and having 'crazy' episodes as he names those.  Enough of him for here and now.

I am writing this for me.  I am 68 years old, 5'11" tall woman.  I was loved and treated with dignity by both parents.  My older brothers would bug me because I am flat chested- they told me to eat apple seeds!.  I was six when I last went out for Halloween.  I was chased by adults for stealing candies from little kids.  I was educated in a catholic boarding school  for 8 years, spending weekends and summers in my family.  I had my first period at 11, when I reached my adult height of 5'11".  I did not have a sixties adolescence, did not watch tv in the convent. I volunteered a lot as a teen.  Taking the bus was difficult as I was usually met with a 'is that a man or a woman' from strangers,young and old.   Colleagues teased me - registered me for a Miss Bust contest and made fun at me in the office.  I never had gender dysphoria, I am a woman,  totally attracted to men even at 68.  I always considered, and still consider  those who teased me to be stupid and the things they were saying to be stupidities.  In any case, by the time I first had sex I was twenty and for two years came to intimately know some nice gentlemen.

I was twenty-two and in a hurry to catch a bus when I took a shortcut through a wooded area.  There was a man who grabbed and pointed a gun at me, had me kneel and... eventually police, hospital, fractured mandible.  Cops that night took my deposition and asked me to go to the station to look at photos, etc.  Then my parents picked me up and when I woke up I could not speak for weeks, was fed liquids with a straw.  Amazing that with trauma I could speak with a broken mandible for hours after the fracture occurred.  I also woke up convinced and encouraged to forget this incident asap, and I did.  Four months later, through a friend, I met the man who was to become my husband.  He was returning from living abroad, a fascinating young man who was generous and kind to me, listened to me like no one else could, telling me he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.  I was entering Blue Beard's Castle.    


Last edited by MarieSimoneLoraine (September 2, 2020 7:44 am)


Board footera


Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum